Kitty wrote: ↑May 3rd, 2021, 5:51 am
AngeliqueAnja wrote: ↑May 1st, 2021, 2:17 amOne Miss Mary Grayson for you hearing pleasure (what a conniving little... Well, I'm sure you know!)
wohooo, Annie, this was a great performance. I love the character portrayal you did for Mary, first so calculating, but then having real feelings, and still very business-like. Rodney doesn't really deserve her
Well done. Really enjoyed the show and I'm looking forward to hearing all this assembled.
However, there are a few missed lines and some smaller errors to correct, before I can mark them ok:
Act 1:
>
voice credit: actually you didn't have to include "
Rodney's girlfriend" here as this was not mentioned in the original script, so
this part can get cut
>
at 0:40: (p. 6) "Tell her that Mr Martin
Senior can see no one." – you forgot to say "senior"
>
at about 16:10: (p. 23) please insert: "
What idea ? What book ?"
>
at about 18:04: (p. 25) please insert: "
I'll be back in a few minutes."
Act 2:
>
at 0:34: (p. 54) "Quite right – in business hours, only
business" – you say twice "business
hours", but she meant here, "during business
hours, we will only focus on
business", so the second "hours" needs to be cut and maybe you want to emphasize it differently, I leave that choice to you
>
at 4:50: (p. 69) "that unless
they get some money at once" – you say "
we get"
>
at 9:13: (p. 81) "if
he could keep on a little longer" – you say "if
you could keep"
>
at 13:01: (p. 86) "So
have I" – you say "so
do I", this may be optional, but since Peale first says "I have got one", usually you would reply with the same auxiliary verb "have"
Act 3:
>
at about 1:55: (p. 91) please insert: "
Tell him about it, Rodney."
>
at about 3:22: (p. 103) please insert: "
Where is father ?"
>
at about 4:50: (p. 106) please insert: "
Have a chair ?"
thanks
Sonia