brilliant performance !!!! Your portrayal of Charley as a slight nitwit is absolutely hilarious. It's also great that not all of the three main boys are brainy ones. Each has a distinct character now. I loved it from first to last. Can't wait to hear the rest. Excellent job, Wolfgang !becevka wrote: ↑July 10th, 2018, 11:15 pmOK, let's start then.
Can't wait to hear your feedback.
Oh and I especially love the several laughs you incorporated. I'm sure Todd can place them well inside the performance.
I have only a few corrections to add:
> at about 12:50: missing line: CHARLEY (pouring out whisky for himself, leaving decanter on R. corner of table). "Babbs, you don't sympathise with us a bit!"
> at 15:53: All right I (Returning.) I say, Jack, I feel happier since I've seen them, don't you? – could you leave a longer pause here for stage directions ? Also, I think this first “I” really is a typo for an exclamation mark “!” I noticed that it often occurs in this text. So you could say: “All right !” [pause] “I say Jack, I feel happier…(etc).” But that is optional.
> at 21:08: “Allow me, Donna Lucia. “ – this should be Sir Francis saying this. Charley is only mentioned in the stage directions, seated as before but it's Sir Francis and Spettigue who vie to accompany Donna Lucia. You can cut out that bit