~OPEN [DR] Stand By For Mars! - thw

Robundle · Post by **Robundle** » March 26th, 2024, 1:26 pm

Captain Steve Strong reporting, sir!

Here are chapters 2 & 3. This is my first dramatic work, so all constructive feedback is welcome.
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_strong_02.mp3 (0:15)
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_strong_03.mp3 (4:15)

Salvationist · Post by **Salvationist** » March 26th, 2024, 4:38 pm

May I read Saminsky?

JHedrick · Post by **JHedrick** » March 27th, 2024, 6:45 am

Narrator chapter 2:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_02.mp3 [21:41]

loon · Post by **loon** » March 28th, 2024, 5:22 pm

Salvationist wrote: ↑March 26th, 2024, 4:38 pm May I read Saminsky?

My notifications got turned off somehow, so I'm only now noticing this.

You have Saminsky, thanks for joining. This is a very small role. Feel free to claim something(s) else as well - any character not in chapter 2.

loon · Post by **loon** » March 28th, 2024, 6:14 pm

Robundle wrote: ↑March 26th, 2024, 1:26 pm Here are chapters 2 & 3. This is my first dramatic work, so all constructive feedback is welcome.
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_strong_02.mp3 (0:15)
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_strong_03.mp3 (4:15)

Chapters 2 and 3 are PL OK, thanks.

Now for the requested constructive feedback:

I'm hearing your breath make microphone pops on some of the 'P' and 'T' sounds (plus the rare time it happens on a 'B', as in Corbet). A free way to reduce breath pops ('plosives') is to move your microphone a bit around to your side - maybe 30 to 40 degrees off from right in front of you. That way the little gust of breath when you make a 'P' or 'T' sound doesn't go straight into the microphone. Or you can place a pop filter between your mouth and the mic. You see those often in pictures of radio announcers or singers in a recording studio. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to greatly reduce these pops with some creative filtering. But if you can reduce the plosives as you record it will save my a lot of editing time.

I liked the way you read "... for the sake of the academy" - your last line in chapter 2. It's as if Steve Strong believes in the Solar Guard and Space Academy so much he can't say The Academy without involuntarily placing his hand over his heart.

Thanks for including 5 seconds of room sound at the end of each recording. That will give me something to refer to as I work on cleaning up the (normal levels of) noise and DC offset in your recording. I asked for no noise reduction and I got it! From a quick experiment, a gentle filter rolling off all the frequencies below 150 Hz should pretty much fix everything up. I may pick something slightly different when I get down to editing the chapters.

Don't be afraid to get bossy with Tom, Roger and Astro when you are giving them orders - you believe they'll make a great unit *but* you aren't ready to let them hear that from your lips just yet.

loon · Post by **loon** » March 28th, 2024, 6:43 pm

JHedrick wrote: ↑March 27th, 2024, 6:45 am Narrator chapter 2:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_02.mp3 [21:41]

At ~4:15 I hear "turned her back on the candidates" - the text reads "turned her back on the cadets".

At ~5:38 I hear "he opened the tube, pulled out the four sheets" - the text reads "he opened the tube, pulling out the four sheets"

All else is fine. Lots happening in this chapter. Mostly, though, our lads are assigned to each other.

Robundle · Post by **Robundle** » March 28th, 2024, 8:11 pm

loon wrote: ↑March 28th, 2024, 6:14 pm A free way to reduce breath pops ('plosives') is to move your microphone a bit around to your side - maybe 30 to 40 degrees off from right in front of you. That way the little gust of breath when you make a 'P' or 'T' sound doesn't go straight into the microphone. Or you can place a pop filter between your mouth and the mic. You see those often in pictures of radio announcers or singers in a recording studio. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to greatly reduce these pops with some creative filtering. But if you can reduce the plosives as you record it will save my a lot of editing time.

Thanks for the tip! I did play around quite a bit with placement of the microphone but never considered placing it to the side -- will definitely try that one! I also have a pop filter coming next week which hopefully will clear that up all the way.

JHedrick · Post by **JHedrick** » March 29th, 2024, 8:21 am

loon wrote: ↑March 28th, 2024, 6:43 pm
Narrator chapter 2:
At ~4:15 I hear "turned her back on the candidates" - the text reads "turned her back on the cadets".
At ~5:38 I hear "he opened the tube, pulled out the four sheets" - the text reads "he opened the tube, pulling out the four sheets"

Corrections:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_02.mp3 [21:42]

I thought I had caught all of the candidate/cadet errors but I must have missed this one.

loon · Post by **loon** » March 29th, 2024, 9:46 am

JHedrick wrote: ↑March 29th, 2024, 8:21 am Corrections:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_02.mp3 [21:42]

I thought I had caught all of the candidate/cadet errors but I must have missed this one.

At ~7:07 I hear "gazed about the room" - the text reads "gazed around the room". I missed this the first time. It sounds entirely natural and doesn't change the meaning at all. I'll leave it to you, do you want to leave it as is?

I'm enjoying how you pronounce the book title in bold.

JHedrick · Post by **JHedrick** » March 29th, 2024, 1:47 pm

loon wrote: ↑March 29th, 2024, 9:46 am At ~7:07 I hear "gazed about the room" - the text reads "gazed around the room". I missed this the first time. It sounds entirely natural and doesn't change the meaning at all. I'll leave it to you, do you want to leave it as is?

No Problem

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_02.mp3 [21:42]

And here is Chapter 3:
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_03.mp3 [5:47]

loon · Post by **loon** » March 29th, 2024, 10:35 pm

I’m at yet another convention. I’ll listen to the tracks Monday.

loon · Post by **loon** » March 31st, 2024, 7:50 pm

JHedrick wrote: ↑March 29th, 2024, 1:47 pm No Problem :D
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_02.mp3 [21:42]

And here is Chapter 3:
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_03.mp3 [5:47]

Chapters 2 and 3 are both PL OK. Thanks.

JHedrick · Post by **JHedrick** » April 1st, 2024, 1:01 pm

Chapter 4:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_04.mp3 [10:10]

loon · Post by **loon** » April 1st, 2024, 3:00 pm

JHedrick wrote: ↑April 1st, 2024, 1:01 pm Chapter 4:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_narration_04.mp3 [10:10]

PL OK, thanks.
Strong's first real attempt to turn the boys into a unit doesn't succeed.

silverquill · Post by **silverquill** » April 2nd, 2024, 11:35 am

Here are all the chapters for Commander Walters, all fairly short.

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_walters_1.mp3 0:47
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_walters_3.mp3 2:01
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_walters_6.mp3 2:14
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_walters_10.mp3 0:20
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_walters_12.mp3 1:54
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/standbyformars_walters_13.mp3 0:39