Felicity, Chapter 23 is PL OK, but I was considering having you read a few lines of the narrator's part in the second paragraph of page 3:
"She first threatened that she
would never speak to him again if he didn't tell her; and then she promised him that,
if he did, she would let him walk beside her
to and from Sunday School all the rest of the summer, and carry her books for her. "
It's in 3rd person, but it could sound like Felicity is reporting to Bev and Felix what Peter had agreed to do, and it would sound more entertaining in Felicity's voice.
If you'd like to do that, just add it to the beginning of chapter 23 or upload it as a separate file.
Felicity, Chapter 24
2:27 (p. 9)
Could you please shriek with the other children -- right after your gasp?
Felicity, Chapter 27
0:32
The line reads "of" but I hear "to" (which changes the meaning):
"I don't believe it's right to talk
of God as if you were well acquainted with Him,"
0:57
You left out "any," which doesn't change the meaning, but does change the tone -- instead of a child sitting around talking, it sounds like an academic... except using an adjective "awful" instead of and adverb "awfully" definitely makes it sound like a child...
"Wouldn't it be awful funny if
any one wrote a story about a fat hero--"
Felicity, Chapter 32
1:09 (p. 3)
You left out the word, "for":
"Perhaps you'd like to send
for Kitty Marr, too--though she DOES laugh at your big mouth."
Felicity Chapters 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, & 31 are PL OK.
Excellent acting!
Thanks, Jenn
TJ