FULL[PLAY]Every Man Out of His Humour by Jonson - thw

Plays and other dramatic works
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Kitty
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Post by Kitty » February 21st, 2019, 4:51 am

Elizabby wrote:
February 20th, 2019, 10:40 pm
Here's the Tailor!
and a very efficient tailor it is, who disguises his suspicion and disappointment of never getting paid very well :lol: Great job, Beth, thank you. Also PL ok. I like the bit deeper voice you're doing here.

Sonia

Elizabby
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Post by Elizabby » February 21st, 2019, 5:30 am

LOL - I've been very sick the last two weeks, and I'm still hoarse so I thought I might as well make use of it! :lol:

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » February 21st, 2019, 5:34 am

Elizabby wrote:
February 21st, 2019, 5:30 am
LOL - I've been very sick the last two weeks, and I'm still hoarse so I thought I might as well make use of it! :lol:
oh that was the reason, sorry to hear you had a sore throat. It did not sound "ill" though. It's a good effect ;)

Sonia

alanmapstone
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Post by alanmapstone » February 21st, 2019, 10:02 am

alan
the sixth age shifts into the slippered pantaloon with spectacles on nose

Ealswythe
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Post by Ealswythe » February 21st, 2019, 10:05 am

Kitty wrote:
February 21st, 2019, 4:49 am
Ealswythe wrote:
February 20th, 2019, 9:22 pm
Lady Puntarvolo
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/outofhumour_ladypuntarvolo_2_128kb.mp3 1:07
:D
thank you, Linda, wonderful to have you in a play again. :D Lady Puntarvolo sounds like a bit of a flirt ;) well done, sadly she only appears in one scene. But totally PL ok, of course.

Sonia
A flirt? Oh no... Gad’s me, I’m afraid I have been found out... :oops:
Le silence va plus vite à reculons.

https://librivox.org/reader/11772

Hamlet
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Post by Hamlet » February 21st, 2019, 11:40 am

Okay, Fastidious corrections Briskly made to Act Two--plus Act Three finished as well.

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/outofhumour_brisk_2_128kb.mp3
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/outofhumour_brisk_3_128kb.mp3

At around 6:50 of Act Three, the stage direction for the speech reads that Brisk is "TALKS AND TAKES TOBACCO BETWEEN THE BREAKS." Another stage direction after the first few words reads "Puffs." The rest of the speech is interrupted by hyphens, so I took that to mean he is puffing on these breaks as well, so I left short gaps in my reading. Let me know if you would prefer I did this another way. If you like, I could add a puffing sound to each of these.

Brad

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » February 21st, 2019, 12:18 pm

(Without listening yet) I don't think we need to add puffing sounds. We have the stage directions saying what you are doing, and gaps in your speech to go along with that. That should be enough.

Thanks, Todd

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » February 21st, 2019, 1:46 pm

alanmapstone wrote:
February 21st, 2019, 10:02 am
Mitis act 2
excellent job again, totally PL ok. Mitis has a knack of just appearing in some crucial scenes and giving his two-cents worth. :lol: A sort of commentator of the play.

thank you, Alan :)

Sonia

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » February 21st, 2019, 2:00 pm

Hamlet wrote:
February 21st, 2019, 11:40 am
Okay, Fastidious corrections Briskly made to Act Two
absolutely PL ok now, thanks !
At around 6:50 of Act Three, the stage direction for the speech reads that Brisk is "TALKS AND TAKES TOBACCO BETWEEN THE BREAKS." Another stage direction after the first few words reads "Puffs." The rest of the speech is interrupted by hyphens, so I took that to mean he is puffing on these breaks as well, so I left short gaps in my reading. Let me know if you would prefer I did this another way. If you like, I could add a puffing sound to each of these.
I have listened to it, and I agree, I think the performance would benefit a lot from inserting some fake puffs at the hyphens. The sentences he says after ("excellent tobacco" etc) really call for such noises. And the rather short gaps don't convey that meaning. I would plead for inserting puffs, if you can make believable noises, that would be great.

here are the time stamps, for easy reference:

> from 5:39-6:02
> from 6:50-7:08
> from 8:34-8:57

another part that I thought a bit strange was the "hum" noises you made from 7:45 to 8:06. I think he is humming the viol de gamba here and this should be the noise from the strumming of the chords. While I don't think you need to use an instrument, you can well convey it with your voice, but the way you say it, it sounds like you are clearing your throat, and maybe it would sound better if you were more like murmuring a sort of melody. You know, as if you want to copy the sound of a guitar riff. "wrumm, wrumm" Maybe you know what I mean :?

and finally, I found one small textual error:

> at 4:28: "if I please to shew the bounty of my mind" - you say "beauty". Here, I'm not really sure whether this changes the meaning much....I'd say it's optional but I wanted to point it out, and let you decide ;)

thank you, in any case, this is an excellent performance again. Like I said: Bobadill all over again :lol: I think he said some of the same sentences even.

Sonia

aaronwhite1977
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Post by aaronwhite1977 » February 21st, 2019, 3:23 pm

Just one more. I'll be glad to do Fungoso - he looks like a fun part.
Then I'll stop. At least for now.

:)
Aaron

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Post by ToddHW » February 21st, 2019, 3:52 pm

Thank you.

Todd

Hamlet
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Post by Hamlet » February 21st, 2019, 7:49 pm

Thank you for the compliments. I'll take your advice on the "hum" part, and also see if I can come up with a believable "puff" sound.

And I forgot to ask if you would like me to also read one of the rustics--in a different voice, of course.

Brad

LexHankins
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Post by LexHankins » February 21st, 2019, 11:08 pm

Ready for PL:
Rustic 2, Act 3 https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/outofhumour_rustic2_3_128kb.mp3 1:47 (with minimum 6 seconds between lines)

Constructive criticism is welcome. Here are some notes:
  • 0:06 I'm not sure what "'Slid" means. It looks like an interjection. I used it here as, "No way".
  • 0:36 Script has a period before "I can tell you"; I treated it as a comma.
  • 0:48 Are there unpleasant plosives here?
  • 1:10 I was going for "astonished" here and beyond. At first, I thought it was sarcasm, but I didn't see support for that in the context.
  • And, of course, anything else you think could use improvement (either now or in a future submission), be it about the performance, technique, or editing.
Thank you, Kitty!
--
Lex (she/her)

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » February 22nd, 2019, 5:45 am

thank you for our first rustic, Lex :) I liked the way you portrayed him, yes, as you said a bit sarcastic, but in the end also suprised and even concerned. It's a good mix. Now I'm curious how the other readers will do their parts of the rustics. It would be great if each got another character, but I let myself be surprised. That's the beauty here, you never know in advance what you'll get but in the end it always somehow works out beautifully. :9:

Only one thing missing:

> please add your voice credit: "Second Rustic, read by Lex Hankins"

the rest is perfect !

now to your questions:
  • 0:06 I'm not sure what "'Slid" means. It looks like an interjection. I used it here as, "No way".
well actually all these "apostrophe-s" words are the abbreviation of the word "God", and are used as a sort of braggardish oath or swear words, or simply to fill in time and emphasise an exclamation. In these old plays you'll encounter many of God's body parts :lol: 'sfoot (God's foot), 'sheart (God's heart), 'slid (God's lid) etc. Some others swear by "Pharao's foot" for example, which is a bit more exotic, but other than that conveys the same meaning.
  • 0:36 Script has a period before "I can tell you"; I treated it as a comma.
yes, best to read it as makes most sense. Gutenberg is known to have had scannos and typos before, so we need to take it with a grain of salt. If in doubt we have to find the original scanned source, but here I think you made the right call
  • 0:48 Are there unpleasant plosives here?
nothing that disturbed me
  • 1:10 I was going for "astonished" here and beyond. At first, I thought it was sarcasm, but I didn't see support for that in the context.
  • And, of course, anything else you think could use improvement (either now or in a future submission), be it about the performance, technique, or editing.
see comments above. I think the performance was original and nicely characterized. I love it when even minor characters in a play are getting a memorable performance, so this one fits the bill quite well.

Just carry on like that and I'll be looking forward to many more of your contributions. :)

Sonia

LexHankins
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Post by LexHankins » February 22nd, 2019, 8:04 am

Kitty wrote:
February 22nd, 2019, 5:45 am
Only one thing missing:

> please add your voice credit: "Second Rustic, read by Lex Hankins"
Oops! Will fix. Do I re-upload using the same file name?
--
Lex (she/her)

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