and a very efficient tailor it is, who disguises his suspicion and disappointment of never getting paid very well Great job, Beth, thank you. Also PL ok. I like the bit deeper voice you're doing here.
A flirt? Oh no... Gad’s me, I’m afraid I have been found out...Kitty wrote: ↑February 21st, 2019, 4:49 amthank you, Linda, wonderful to have you in a play again. Lady Puntarvolo sounds like a bit of a flirt well done, sadly she only appears in one scene. But totally PL ok, of course.Ealswythe wrote: ↑February 20th, 2019, 9:22 pmLady Puntarvolo
absolutely PL ok now, thanks !
I have listened to it, and I agree, I think the performance would benefit a lot from inserting some fake puffs at the hyphens. The sentences he says after ("excellent tobacco" etc) really call for such noises. And the rather short gaps don't convey that meaning. I would plead for inserting puffs, if you can make believable noises, that would be great.At around 6:50 of Act Three, the stage direction for the speech reads that Brisk is "TALKS AND TAKES TOBACCO BETWEEN THE BREAKS." Another stage direction after the first few words reads "Puffs." The rest of the speech is interrupted by hyphens, so I took that to mean he is puffing on these breaks as well, so I left short gaps in my reading. Let me know if you would prefer I did this another way. If you like, I could add a puffing sound to each of these.
well actually all these "apostrophe-s" words are the abbreviation of the word "God", and are used as a sort of braggardish oath or swear words, or simply to fill in time and emphasise an exclamation. In these old plays you'll encounter many of God's body parts 'sfoot (God's foot), 'sheart (God's heart), 'slid (God's lid) etc. Some others swear by "Pharao's foot" for example, which is a bit more exotic, but other than that conveys the same meaning.
- 0:06 I'm not sure what "'Slid" means. It looks like an interjection. I used it here as, "No way".
yes, best to read it as makes most sense. Gutenberg is known to have had scannos and typos before, so we need to take it with a grain of salt. If in doubt we have to find the original scanned source, but here I think you made the right call
- 0:36 Script has a period before "I can tell you"; I treated it as a comma.
nothing that disturbed me
- 0:48 Are there unpleasant plosives here?
see comments above. I think the performance was original and nicely characterized. I love it when even minor characters in a play are getting a memorable performance, so this one fits the bill quite well.
- 1:10 I was going for "astonished" here and beyond. At first, I thought it was sarcasm, but I didn't see support for that in the context.
- And, of course, anything else you think could use improvement (either now or in a future submission), be it about the performance, technique, or editing.