All audio files can be found on our catalog page: https://librivox.org/on-punning-by-theodore-hook/
Each fortnight a poem is chosen to be recorded by as many LibriVox volunteers as possible!Theodore Edward Hook was an English man of letters and composer and briefly a civil servant in Mauritius. He is best known for his practical jokes, particularly the Berners Street hoax in 1810. The world's first postcard was received by Hook in 1840, which he probably posted to himself. Here he gives a humorous look at homophones - Summary by Wikipedia ( Wikipedia)
This Fortnightly Poem has been suggested by DrPGould (Philip)
This fortnight's poem can be found here.
Set your recording software to:
Channels: 1 (Mono)
Bit Rate: 128 kbps
Sample Rate: 44100 kHz
Have questions on "how"?
Check LV's Recording Notes thread before recording. If this is your first recording, you'll also find this Newbie Guide to Recording useful.
Begin your reading with the abbreviated LibriVox disclaimer:
No more than 0.5 to 1 second of silence at the beginning of the recording!
Then read the poem:On Punning by Theodore Hook, read for LibriVox.org by [your name].
[Add, if you wish, date, your location, and/or your personal url.]
My little dears who learn to read, pray early learn to shun
That very silly thing indeed, which people call a pun.
Read Entick's rules, and 'twill be found, how simple an offence
It is to make the self-same sound afford a double sense.
For instance, ale may make you ail, your aunt an ant may kill,
You in a vale may buy a veil and Bill may pay the bill.
Or, if to France your bark may steer, at Dover it may be,
A peer appears upon the pier, who, blind, still goes to sea.
Thus, one might say, when to a treat good friends accept our greeting,
'Tis meet that men who meet to eat should eat their meat when meeting.
Brawn on the board's no bore indeed although from boar prepared;
Nor can the fowl, on which we feed, foul feeding he declared.
Thus, one ripe fruit may be a pear, and yet be pared again,
And still no one, which seemeth rare until we do explain.
It therefore should be all your aim to spell with ample care;
For who, however fond of game, would choose to swallow hair?
A fat man's gait may make us smile, who has no gate to close;
The farmer, sitting on his stile no stylish person knows.
Perfumers, men of scents must be, some Scilly men are bright;
A brown man oft deep read we see, a black a wicked wight.
Most wealthy men good manors have, however vulgar they;
And actors still the harder slave the oftener they play.
So poets can't the baize obtain, unless their tailors choose;
While grooms and coachmen not in vain each evening seek the Mews.
The dyer, who by dying lives, a dire life maintains;
The glazier, it is known, receives his profits for his panes.
By gardeners thyme is tied, 'tis true, when spring is in its prime;
But time and tide won't wait for you if you are tied for time.
Thus now you see, my little dears, the way to make a pun;
A trick which you, through coming years, should sedulously shun.
The fault admits of no defence, for wheresoe'er 'tis found,
You sacrifice the sound for sense; the sense is never sound.
So let your words and actions, too, one single meaning prove,
And just in all you say or do, you'll gain esteem and love.
In mirth and play no harm you'll know when duty's task is done;
But parents ne'er should let ye go unpunished for a Pun.
At the end of your reading, leave a space and then say:
End of poem. This recording is in the public domain.
Please leave 5 seconds of silence at the end of your recording.
Save your recording as an mp3 file using the following filename and ID3 tag format:
File name - all in lowercase: onpunning_hook_your initials in lowercase_128kb.mp3
(e.g. onpunning_hook_klh_128kb.mp3 )
ID3 tags (Version 2.30): ID Tags are completed during Cataloging
*Readers, please check back in a day or so for any feedback regarding your reading.
Transfer of files (completed recordings) Please always post in this forum thread when you've sent a file. Also, post the length of the recording (file duration: mm:ss) together with the link.
- Upload your file with the LibriVox Uploader: https://librivox.org/login/uploader
(If you have trouble reading the image above, please message an admin)
- You'll need to select the MC, which for this project is: aradlaw
- When your upload is complete, you will receive a link - please post it in this thread.
- If this doesn't work, or you have questions, please check our How To Send Your Recording wiki page.
When you post your link, please include your name as you would like it credited on the catalogue page and any URL by which you would like it accompanied.
(Note: This is only necessary if you have not done so for another project.)
(If you wish to contribute, please have your readings submitted by 0600 GMT Sunday, October 8, 2017 (12:00AM CDT)
Please don't download files belonging to projects in process (unless you are the BC or PL). Our servers are not set up to handle the greater volume of traffic. Please wait until the project has been completed. Thanks!
(And remember, anyone can suggest a poem for a certain week and/or coordinate an upcoming fortnightly poem! If you'd like to suggest a poem or coordinate a future Fortnightly Poetry project, please visit this thread.)