FULL[PLAY]One Act Play Collection 014 - thw

Plays and other dramatic works
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TriciaG
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Post by TriciaG » November 24th, 2020, 12:21 pm

oneactplays014_091? I can change it in the uploader and MW if/when you confirm that. :)

No PL yet.

Mr. Mottley de Windsor: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/13577">Adrian Stephens</a><br>Mr. Whitewash: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/14309">Cavaet</a><br>Mr. Ferguson: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/7170">Alan Mapstone</a><br>Thwaites: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/8425">Larry Wilson</a><br>Pawkins: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/4705">Algy Pug</a><br>Miss Agatha de Windsor: <a href="EliseDee">https://librivox.org/reader/14425</a><br>Narrator: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/2911">David Lawrence</a><br>
Short essays: Elia, and The Last Essays of Elia
Bulwer-Lytton novel: The Caxtons
Adventure/Travel: Across Mongolian Plains
Boring works 30-70 minutes long: Insomnia Collection 5
Adult dog stories: Best Dog Stories

jennlea
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Post by jennlea » November 24th, 2020, 12:30 pm

TriciaG wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 12:21 pm
No PL yet.
I can PL it this evening!
-Jenn B.
My Recordings

TriciaG
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Post by TriciaG » November 24th, 2020, 12:44 pm

jennlea wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 12:30 pm
TriciaG wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 12:21 pm
No PL yet.
I can PL it this evening!
Thanks! Any comments on pacing and the volume levels of the different characters (if they're noticeably different) are welcome!
Short essays: Elia, and The Last Essays of Elia
Bulwer-Lytton novel: The Caxtons
Adventure/Travel: Across Mongolian Plains
Boring works 30-70 minutes long: Insomnia Collection 5
Adult dog stories: Best Dog Stories

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » November 24th, 2020, 1:22 pm

Thank you!

Only one spot open now.

Todd

jennlea
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Joined: February 10th, 2019, 9:44 pm

Post by jennlea » November 24th, 2020, 1:50 pm

MManolakes wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 11:37 am
Thanks, Jenn! Wonderful reading, laugh and all. PL OK.
Great! Thanks!
-Jenn B.
My Recordings


ktaylor07
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Post by ktaylor07 » November 24th, 2020, 6:13 pm

mightyfelix wrote:
November 19th, 2020, 9:43 pm
ktaylor07 wrote:
November 19th, 2020, 8:39 am
Okay -- Here is "The Bloomer Costume"

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/oneactplays014_03_bloomercostume_stirling_128kb.mp3

35:24
Nice job, Kelly, especially for a first time editor! :clap: Dramatic editing is more art than science, and a lot of it is personal style, so I've made several suggestions below, but most of them are only suggestions for improvement, not things that must be corrected. This includes many spots where I think you can cut the stage directions out to keep the scene flowing. Often, stage directions will specify something that the reader does well with their voice, like a laugh, a cough, a specific emotion, etc. In those cases, it's often redundant to keep the stage directions and slows the scene.

One more general comment regarding timing before I get to the specifics. I feel (and again, much of this is subjective) that a lot of these lines follow too closely after one another. My own rule of thumb is about half a second between lines. I'll do a little less if it's an emotionally charged situation, like an argument, and a little more if it's more of a pensive discussion, or if the characters might feel hesitant or shy. It helps if I picture people on a stage interacting with each other. Of course, because timing is rather subjective, there's no need to address it on this one. But you may want to keep it in mind if you do more of these in the future.

Now, on to the notes:

File name needs to be corrected, as Todd pointed out above.
0:16 Immediately after the disclaimer here, you've left five full seconds of silence. I think this is far too much. I would cut it down to no more than two or three.
1:51 On the other hand, you may want to add two or three seconds here, after the opening remarks. Currently, there is less than half a second. Not really time to absorb what has just been said, I think, before the cast starts in.
1:59 For some reason, instead of reading "Nobby Nick, his boy," as stated in the script, we have "Nobby Nick, his assistant." I notice that the MW says "assistant," so I presume that Adrian was reading from there. But I think this is maybe a case of changing the words as printed to something more palatable to modern ears. I think we need to stick to what's printed, and ask for a redo of this bit from Adrian.
11:22 This "&c" here should probably be either spoken by the narrator or cut. It doesn't seem in character for Cockles to say it here.
14:53-15:20 Volume seems a bit low here.
16:07 Cut "Laughs."
18:09-18:19 The narrator's voice announcing the song here can probably be cut. It slows things down without contributing to the action. I would at the very least cut the "Air: I Dreamt I Dwelt in Marble Halls," as that is just telling you what tune it is sung to.
21:27 You might consider also cutting "Cockles, laughs, goes to center" to make things flow better. He gave us a great laugh for this bit, and I'm not sure that it makes much of a difference that he's at center.
24:03 Cut "Nick, laughs."
25:03 Cut "faintly"
29:05 Cut "laughs"

Again, nice work. I hope that you enjoyed the process. :)
Here is the corrected file for "Bloomer Costume"

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/oneactplays014_03_various_128kb.mp3

And here is a Cast List for the show:

Christopher Cockles OooThatsNifty 14540 Andrew Gaunce
Nobby Nick adrianstephens 13577 Adrian Stephens
Joseph Jumps MManolakes 11484 Mike Manolakes
Miss Patty Bailey mightyfelix 11084 Devorah Allen
Miss Eliza Todd ktaylor07 13852 Kelly S. Taylor

jennlea
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Joined: February 10th, 2019, 9:44 pm

Post by jennlea » November 24th, 2020, 8:57 pm

TriciaG wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 12:44 pm
Thanks! Any comments on pacing and the volume levels of the different characters (if they're noticeably different) are welcome!
What an enjoyable listen! Don't have any notes for you, it sounded great to me! This can be marked as PL-OK :)
-Jenn B.
My Recordings

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » November 24th, 2020, 9:39 pm

ktaylor07 wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 6:13 pm
Here is the corrected file for "Bloomer Costume"

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/oneactplays014_03_various_128kb.mp3

And here is a Cast List for the show:

Christopher Cockles OooThatsNifty 14540 Andrew Gaunce
Nobby Nick adrianstephens 13577 Adrian Stephens
Joseph Jumps MManolakes 11484 Mike Manolakes
Miss Patty Bailey mightyfelix 11084 Devorah Allen
Miss Eliza Todd ktaylor07 13852 Kelly S. Taylor
Nice. I may not be able to do the spot PL until this weekend. I've been baking a lot in preparation for Thanksgiving. Since we can't go anywhere this year, I've decided to try my hand at putting together our very own little Thanksgiving meal, which I've never done before. If I'm not in a turkey coma, I'll check this after the holiday.

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » November 25th, 2020, 5:50 am

mightyfelix wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 9:39 pm
ktaylor07 wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 6:13 pm
Here is the corrected file for "Bloomer Costume"

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/oneactplays014_03_various_128kb.mp3

And here is a Cast List for the show:

Christopher Cockles OooThatsNifty 14540 Andrew Gaunce
Nobby Nick adrianstephens 13577 Adrian Stephens
Joseph Jumps MManolakes 11484 Mike Manolakes
Miss Patty Bailey mightyfelix 11084 Devorah Allen
Miss Eliza Todd ktaylor07 13852 Kelly S. Taylor
Nice. I may not be able to do the spot PL until this weekend. I've been baking a lot in preparation for Thanksgiving. Since we can't go anywhere this year, I've decided to try my hand at putting together our very own little Thanksgiving meal, which I've never done before. If I'm not in a turkey coma, I'll check this after the holiday.
Thank you. Watch out for that turkey coma! Don't eat and drive!

Cast list needs the stage direction credit as well. With the html formatting words as you can see up in TriciaG's example....

Thanks, Todd

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » November 25th, 2020, 5:52 am

TriciaG wrote:
November 24th, 2020, 12:21 pm
oneactplays014_091? I can change it in the uploader and MW if/when you confirm that. :)

No PL yet.

Mr. Mottley de Windsor: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/13577">Adrian Stephens</a><br>Mr. Whitewash: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/14309">Cavaet</a><br>Mr. Ferguson: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/7170">Alan Mapstone</a><br>Thwaites: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/8425">Larry Wilson</a><br>Pawkins: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/4705">Algy Pug</a><br>Miss Agatha de Windsor: <a href="EliseDee">https://librivox.org/reader/14425</a><br>Narrator: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/2911">David Lawrence</a><br>
Don't know why I had "091". Corrected MW to "09".

Thanks, Todd

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » November 25th, 2020, 6:03 am

So, here is the status.

1 "Lover": DONE
2 "Easter": DONE
3 "Bloomer": Waiting for Spot PL
4 "Short/Sweet": 1 section open
5 "Hester": FULL, waiting on 3 part files
6 "Sweet/20": 2 sections open
7 "Heirs": 4 sections open
8 "1999": 3 sections open
9 "Retained": DONE
10: OPEN, not claimed yet

Thanks, Todd

ktaylor07
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Post by ktaylor07 » November 25th, 2020, 8:20 am

Here is the corrected Cast List for "Bloomer Costume"

Christopher Cockles: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/14540">Andrew Gaunce </a><br>
Nobby Nick: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/13577">Adrian Stephens</a><br>
Joseph Jumps: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/11484">Mike Manolakes </a><br>
Miss Patty Bailey: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/11084">Devorah Allen </a><br>
Miss Eliza Todd: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/13852">Kelly S. Taylor </a><br>
Stage Directions: <a href="https://librivox.org/reader/10542">David Purdy</a><br>


TriciaG
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Post by TriciaG » November 25th, 2020, 9:27 am

ToddHW wrote:
November 25th, 2020, 5:52 am

Don't know why I had "091". Corrected MW to "09".

Thanks, Todd
File name fixed in uploader and in MW, and I checked that the MW link worked. So it's in the can and ready to catalog. 8-)
Short essays: Elia, and The Last Essays of Elia
Bulwer-Lytton novel: The Caxtons
Adventure/Travel: Across Mongolian Plains
Boring works 30-70 minutes long: Insomnia Collection 5
Adult dog stories: Best Dog Stories

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