FULL[PLAY]Alias Miss Sherlock by Tubbs - thw

Plays and other dramatic works
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mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » July 17th, 2020, 1:26 pm

Sorry I haven't been around much this last week. I'll try to get caught up on all the PLs here this weekend. Starting with act 1 stage directions!

First, great job on this, Michael! Everything is here, and there was just one slip that will need to be attended to. I think the Synopsis will end up being cut, but it's better to include it if you're not sure. It's always better to have too much than too little. Also, you should be a little more generous with your spacing between lines. The pauses here are only about 2 seconds. They really should be at least 3-5 seconds long, to make Todd's job easier as editor. No need to change it here, but it would be nice in the future to leave more room.

16:36 Script reads "...but sinks back as SARAH gently draws him down beside her." I hear "...but sinks back as HELEN gently draws him down beside her."

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Post by mightyfelix » July 17th, 2020, 1:40 pm

Act 2 stage directions:

6:16 and 6:22 You've left two identical lines in here, except that one of them is "left upper entrance" and the other is "left upper exit." I don't see as how it makes any difference myself, but you should cut one or the other.

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Post by mightyfelix » July 17th, 2020, 1:59 pm

Salvationist wrote:
July 13th, 2020, 3:45 pm
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/aliasmisssherlock_dickbrewster_1_128kb.mp3 7:53

I hope I'm pronouncing "Navarre" the same way everyone else is!
Excellent job! Everything is here, and you are very believable as the young, rash, and innocent Dick! PL ok! Looking forward to the next one. :D

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Post by mightyfelix » July 17th, 2020, 2:15 pm

Leonard, act 3:

Here we see much less of the lover and much more of the lawyer! Nice to get that other angle on your character! Only one quick correction to make.

4:45 Need to add a space for stage directions before "I wonder if she's got lost?"

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Post by mightyfelix » July 17th, 2020, 2:25 pm

And act 4 for the young country lawyer is PL ok! :thumbs:

(Todd, I haven't been moving the sections around, just marking them PL ok. I figured it would be easier to let you put them where you want them.)

MichaelMaggs
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Post by MichaelMaggs » July 18th, 2020, 9:45 am

Thanks Devorah. Here are the amended acts 1 and 2 narrator for spot PL:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/aliasmisssherlock_narrator_1_128kb.mp3 @ 17.56
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/aliasmisssherlock_narrator_2_128kb.mp3 @ 10.34

On the question of spacing, yes I'm using two seconds which was I think what I was asked for when I did my first play narration. I've done 17 or 18 narrations for Todd now, and no-one has ever asked for 3-5 seconds. The narration of a single act of a Pinero play can easily come out at 45 minutes already, and such long spaces would push that up to an hour and a half! Anyway, I'm more than happy to do whatever Todd finds most useful during the editing stage, and if he feels he needs more space I'll be more than happy to oblige (though this play and several others that I have in hand are already recorded on the basis of around two seconds).

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Post by mightyfelix » July 18th, 2020, 9:56 am

MichaelMaggs wrote:
July 18th, 2020, 9:45 am
Thanks Devorah. Here are the amended acts 1 and 2 narrator for spot PL:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/aliasmisssherlock_narrator_1_128kb.mp3 @ 17.56
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/aliasmisssherlock_narrator_2_128kb.mp3 @ 10.34

On the question of spacing, yes I'm using two seconds which was I think what I was asked for when I did my first play narration. I've done 17 or 18 narrations for Todd now, and no-one has ever asked for 3-5 seconds. The narration of a single act of a Pinero play can easily come out at 45 minutes already, and such long spaces would push that up to an hour and a half! Anyway, I'm more than happy to do whatever Todd finds most useful during the editing stage, and if he feels he needs more space I'll be more than happy to oblige (though this play and several others that I have in hand are already recorded on the basis of around two seconds).
Thank you, these are both PL ok now!

Interesting, I've always been told 3-5. :hmm: And I do think, from an editing standpoint, that it's easier that way. However, there's no real "rule,"only best practices, and those are somewhat dependent on personal preference. :)

Thanks again!

skypigeon
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Post by skypigeon » July 18th, 2020, 11:02 am

mightyfelix wrote:
July 17th, 2020, 2:15 pm
Leonard, act 3:

Here we see much less of the lover and much more of the lawyer! Nice to get that other angle on your character! Only one quick correction to make.

4:45 Need to add a space for stage directions before "I wonder if she's got lost?"
Done as needed, ma'am: https://librivox.org/uploads/mightyfelix/aliasmisssherlock_leonardfillmore_3_128kb.mp3

Many thanks to both Todd and you for the opportunity to read this part. Were I really young, I'd love to play Mr. Fillmore on stage. It looks like a lot of fun! :)

MichaelMaggs
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Post by MichaelMaggs » July 18th, 2020, 11:22 am


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Post by ToddHW » July 18th, 2020, 12:38 pm

Thank you all.

Todd

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » July 19th, 2020, 1:41 pm

skypigeon wrote:
July 18th, 2020, 11:02 am
mightyfelix wrote:
July 17th, 2020, 2:15 pm
Leonard, act 3:

Here we see much less of the lover and much more of the lawyer! Nice to get that other angle on your character! Only one quick correction to make.

4:45 Need to add a space for stage directions before "I wonder if she's got lost?"
Done as needed, ma'am: https://librivox.org/uploads/mightyfelix/aliasmisssherlock_leonardfillmore_3_128kb.mp3

Many thanks to both Todd and you for the opportunity to read this part. Were I really young, I'd love to play Mr. Fillmore on stage. It looks like a lot of fun! :)
Thank you, perfect! (Did you change the volume on this section as well? I don't remember it being so high. :hmm: It's of no consequence, as it's still in the right range and Todd will adjust it anyway. Just curious.)

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Post by mightyfelix » July 19th, 2020, 2:19 pm

Thank you, Jenn, you are wonderful as Helen! All the hauteur of the city-bred girl being forced to stay on a farm, then later the cold determination to do your family duty, and finally, relief and gratitude! :9: Acts 2 and 4 are perfectly PL ok already. I'd like to see a tiny change in act 1.

3:13 Tiny word change, but I think it changes the meaning enough to be corrected. Script reads "Anything is better than the poorhouse." I hear "Anything is better than this poorhouse." (That implies to me that she's referring to Aunt Sarah's house, which she isn't.)

skypigeon
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Post by skypigeon » July 19th, 2020, 3:36 pm

mightyfelix wrote:
July 19th, 2020, 1:41 pm
skypigeon wrote:
July 18th, 2020, 11:02 am
mightyfelix wrote:
July 17th, 2020, 2:15 pm
Leonard, act 3:

Here we see much less of the lover and much more of the lawyer! Nice to get that other angle on your character! Only one quick correction to make.

4:45 Need to add a space for stage directions before "I wonder if she's got lost?"
Done as needed, ma'am: https://librivox.org/uploads/mightyfelix/aliasmisssherlock_leonardfillmore_3_128kb.mp3

Many thanks to both Todd and you for the opportunity to read this part. Were I really young, I'd love to play Mr. Fillmore on stage. It looks like a lot of fun! :)
Thank you, perfect! (Did you change the volume on this section as well? I don't remember it being so high. :hmm: It's of no consequence, as it's still in the right range and Todd will adjust it anyway. Just curious.)
Uh... no... :?

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » July 19th, 2020, 5:08 pm

:lol: Well then obviously my memory is playing tricks on me! Don't worry about it, you're all done here!

jennlea
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Post by jennlea » July 19th, 2020, 8:27 pm

mightyfelix wrote:
July 19th, 2020, 2:19 pm

Thank you, Jenn, you are wonderful as Helen! All the hauteur of the city-bred girl being forced to stay on a farm, then later the cold determination to do your family duty, and finally, relief and gratitude! :9: Acts 2 and 4 are perfectly PL ok already. I'd like to see a tiny change in act 1.

3:13 Tiny word change, but I think it changes the meaning enough to be corrected. Script reads "Anything is better than the poorhouse." I hear "Anything is better than this poorhouse." (That implies to me that she's referring to Aunt Sarah's house, which she isn't.)
Thanks, Devorah!

Here is Act 1 with the correction made:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/aliasmisssherlock_helen_1_128kb.mp3
-Jenn B.

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