FULL[PLAY]The Torch-Bearers by George Kelly - thw

Plays and other dramatic works
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ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » May 28th, 2020, 5:56 am

mightyfelix wrote:
May 27th, 2020, 7:06 pm
Act 3 sounds excellent! Except, I must say, I'm rather embarassed to hear so much background noise behind my lines! I couldn't hear it when I submitted them, but now it sounds so loud to me! :oops: Ah well, I'm in the process of setting up a new recording space, and hopefully I won't have those issues any more. But enough about me! :roll:

I noticed that you cut many of the stage directions, which I think was entirely right. (And partly because that would have made the act at least ten minutes longer!) There aren't too many places in this act where you need to stack voices, and I think you did a great job with them. I have a couple of suggestions, the first one being in my opinion the only important one.

7:05 Here's a stage direction I think is important to keep in: "[He goes through the arched doorway at the head of the stairs.]" This is his exiting the scene just before Mrs. Pampinelli comes in. I think listeners need to know that he is gone.
41:30 I felt we could comfortably cut this direction, if you're looking to trim down a bit more. It felt to me like it broke the flow of the scene more than most. "Mrs. Pampinelli. [Imperiously, and moving over to a point above the table at which Mrs. Ritter is sitting]" Up to you, though.
54:22 This one could also be comfortably cut, I think. "Mrs. Pampinelli. [To Mrs. Ritter]"
Your three changes are all made. Good thoughts and thank you for them. New file uploaded.

I had only cut stage directions that I thought were not helpful to picturing what overall was going on. That someone just moved left or right didn't really matter in all the confusion, and so I might cut that. But if they moved closer to someone else, perhaps to be close together face to face for some of the exchanges, or if they moved to do something like pick up stuff from the piano, that stayed in. So I should have kept Ritter passing through the doorway, and the other two places you suggested I cut could easily go.

Act 2 will be probably twice as long; definitely two files....

By the way, I don't hear the noise you refer to in your part. Either it is outside my aged hearing range, or your speakers/headphones are better than mine - or you are being too hard on yourself!

Thanks, Todd

larryhayes7
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Post by larryhayes7 » May 28th, 2020, 6:23 am

mightyfelix wrote:
May 27th, 2020, 7:13 pm
larryhayes7 wrote:
May 27th, 2020, 5:19 pm
Corrections made
Mr. Huxley Act I
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/torchbearers_hossefrosse_1_128kb.mp3
Time 7:04

2 of the lines I did not bold that was why they were left out :roll:
PL ok, thank you! There are a couple of things to watch out for on the next one that I forgot to mention:

Your volume is a bit high. Todd will adjust it anyway for this piece, but that's definitely something you need to be careful of if you're submitting to a non-dramatic project.

Also, specfic to dramatic projects, you might want to be more careful of your spacing. Mostly you left a nice comfortable pause of four or five seconds, but there were some spots where there's barely one second! When I edit my dramatic parts, I like to copy a chunk of silence the length that I want it, then paste it in in between lines. That way, I don't need to worry about it as I'm recording. :wink:
Just to reply on this one I just looked though the whole file and at minimum there was 2 seconds between and maximum 4 seconds between the lines. Now on the correction from yesterday I can say that I probably just inserted that and forgot to add some addition spacing. Most of the other spots your might be mentioning were read together if there were multiple sentences read at once.

On the volume part I realized I forgot to run the amplification check and when i checked it before I made the final corrections I did adjust that so it was within the accepted range.

MrsHand
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Post by MrsHand » May 29th, 2020, 5:04 pm

I think this may have gotten overlooked.

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » May 30th, 2020, 11:12 pm

MrsHand wrote:
May 29th, 2020, 5:04 pm
I think this may have gotten overlooked.
No, I saw it. Here was my response to you:
mightyfelix wrote:
April 22nd, 2020, 6:40 pm
Thank you, Kay! Act 2 is PL ok. :)

Everything is there in Act 1, but a couple of the lines are out of order. :? I guess adding in the missing line at the beginning of the act put the rest just a bit off kilter. Not to worry! The easiest way to fix it will be to cut the "I'm sorry" currently at 4:11 and paste it back in after the second "click-click," which is currently at 4:22. My apologies, I guess it would have been easier if I'd told you which lines were before and after.
I suppose, since all the lines are there, it may be ok after all. :hmm: Of course, it's easier on Todd if they're in the correct order.

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » May 30th, 2020, 11:30 pm

Act 3 PL ok! It sounds wonderful! :D

larryhayes7
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Post by larryhayes7 » May 31st, 2020, 2:47 pm

I will have Mr. Huxley (Act II) submitted tonight, working on the editing now :D

larryhayes7
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Post by larryhayes7 » May 31st, 2020, 5:31 pm



mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » May 31st, 2020, 9:13 pm

larryhayes7 wrote:
May 31st, 2020, 5:31 pm
Mr. Huxley Act II completed
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/torchbearers_hossefrosse_2_128kb.mp3
Time 5:42
Everything's great! PL ok, and congratulations, you're done! :thumbs:


ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » June 1st, 2020, 11:48 am

Missing two Hossefrosse lines in Act 1 on page 74.
Florence. [Rising] Please, Clyde!—[She crosses in front of the table at the left and goes towards him. Mrs. Ritter gets up from the partition-seat and comes down to the table at the right, below the piano.] You’re not talking to your office-boy—[Mrs. Ritter picks up the little chair from the left of the table and starts back again towards the center-door.] Let us get to the point.

Hossefrosse. Very well.
Also:
Hossefrosse. What brought you here tonight?[75] [He turns to see the cause of the movement behind him.] Don’t mention it. [Mrs. Ritter places the chair in front of the partition where she has been sitting, then crosses to the piano and gets her sewing-basket, returning with it to the chair and sitting down to sew.]
Separate small file please.

Thanks, Todd

larryhayes7
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Post by larryhayes7 » June 1st, 2020, 12:03 pm

This is the first dramatic role that I have done that was not written up in Google Docs with colored formatting. Never missed any done that way. They seem too easy to miss just in straight text and I was searing on my character name and they still missed several. The Google Docs method makes it so much easier for me to follow. :oops:

MrsHand
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Post by MrsHand » June 2nd, 2020, 1:22 pm

mightyfelix wrote:
May 30th, 2020, 11:12 pm
MrsHand wrote:
May 29th, 2020, 5:04 pm
I think this may have gotten overlooked.
No, I saw it. Here was my response to you:
mightyfelix wrote:
April 22nd, 2020, 6:40 pm
Thank you, Kay! Act 2 is PL ok. :)

Everything is there in Act 1, but a couple of the lines are out of order. :? I guess adding in the missing line at the beginning of the act put the rest just a bit off kilter. Not to worry! The easiest way to fix it will be to cut the "I'm sorry" currently at 4:11 and paste it back in after the second "click-click," which is currently at 4:22. My apologies, I guess it would have been easier if I'd told you which lines were before and after.
I suppose, since all the lines are there, it may be ok after all. :hmm: Of course, it's easier on Todd if they're in the correct order.
Clearly it got overlooked...by me! LOL

I've moved the apology to the right spot.


https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/torchbearers_spindler_1_128kb.mp3

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » June 2nd, 2020, 2:01 pm

MrsHand wrote:
June 2nd, 2020, 1:22 pm
Clearly it got overlooked...by me! LOL

I've moved the apology to the right spot.


https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/torchbearers_spindler_1_128kb.mp3
All fixed, thank you! :thumbs:

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » June 3rd, 2020, 11:27 am

Drafts of acts 1 and 2 now complete awaiting final part. Act 1 will end up as three files - it is 2 hours 20 minutes long now! Act 2 is a bit will be "only" two files. Whew.

Thanks, Todd

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