FULL, COMEDIC PLAY] Ann by Lechmere Worrall - dlo

Plays and other dramatic works
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elsieselwyn
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Post by elsieselwyn » July 8th, 2019, 6:22 pm

Elizabby wrote:
May 29th, 2019, 11:27 pm
Hi Elsie! I'd be happy to DPL the finished piece for you!
Elizabby, I have uploaded the stage directions for all three acts. No rush to PL these! :D

I tried to only include descriptions of movement if it was pertinent to the narrative (if Ann and Edward were having a dance of moving closer and then further away from each other for instance). I omitted all the descriptions of how they are speaking (loudly, fiercely, etc.) because that will be communicated through the other readers' audio unless they were combined with another relevant stage direction in the same phrase/sentence. Also, I could not figure out what BUS. stood for. Possibly busy? Anyway, when it showed up, I skipped it unless the stage directions didn't make sense by themselves and then I said "busy". If you have a better suggestion, don't hesitate to tell me and I'll redo the lines.

Elizabby
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Post by Elizabby » July 9th, 2019, 1:28 am

Great! I’ll PL these soon!

lymiewithpurpose
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Post by lymiewithpurpose » July 9th, 2019, 12:19 pm

Campbell
Constructive criticism always welcome

Readers wanted: The Cliff-Dwellers

elsieselwyn
Posts: 1518
Joined: March 28th, 2019, 8:37 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by elsieselwyn » July 9th, 2019, 12:20 pm

lymiewithpurpose wrote:
July 9th, 2019, 12:19 pm
I have my last act.

https://librivox.org/uploads/dlolso21/ann_edward_3_128kb.mp3
9:21
Thanks, Campbell!

Elizabby
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Location: Kelsingra

Post by Elizabby » July 9th, 2019, 4:57 pm

elsieselwyn wrote:
July 8th, 2019, 6:22 pm
Also, I could not figure out what BUS. stood for. Possibly busy? Anyway, when it showed up, I skipped it unless the stage directions didn't make sense by themselves and then I said "busy". If you have a better suggestion, don't hesitate to tell me and I'll redo the lines.
I asked my sister, who is an opera singer and actor’s union card carrying member - she says it stands for “business” which means unscripted or improvised actions by the actor - I guess it’s the movement equivalent of “ad lib” for lines. In any case I don’t think we need it in the audio version so I reckon just cut it out in editing as you go. I’ll PL those files today I think - do you need the time stamps of the “busy” lines?

elsieselwyn
Posts: 1518
Joined: March 28th, 2019, 8:37 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by elsieselwyn » July 9th, 2019, 4:59 pm

Elizabby wrote:
July 9th, 2019, 4:57 pm
elsieselwyn wrote:
July 8th, 2019, 6:22 pm
Also, I could not figure out what BUS. stood for. Possibly busy? Anyway, when it showed up, I skipped it unless the stage directions didn't make sense by themselves and then I said "busy". If you have a better suggestion, don't hesitate to tell me and I'll redo the lines.
I asked my sister, who is an opera singer and actor’s union card carrying member - she says it stands for “business” which means unscripted or improvised actions by the actor - I guess it’s the movement equivalent of “ad lib” for lines. In any case I don’t think we need it in the audio version so I reckon just cut it out in editing as you go. I’ll PL those files today I think - do you need the time stamps of the “busy” lines?
I would appreciate it if you gave me the time stamps for the “busy” lines, but you don’t have to :D

elsieselwyn
Posts: 1518
Joined: March 28th, 2019, 8:37 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by elsieselwyn » July 11th, 2019, 10:20 am

lymiewithpurpose wrote:
July 9th, 2019, 12:19 pm
I have my last act.

https://librivox.org/uploads/dlolso21/ann_edward_3_128kb.mp3
9:21
Just two missed lines :D

1:36 "Now sir"

6:21 "Shhh"

Elizabby
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Location: Kelsingra

Post by Elizabby » July 11th, 2019, 8:45 pm

Stage Directions Act 1, PL notes:

The intro is all fine, but it would be usual to put the Cast List in here, and there doesn't seem to be space for it, neither is there your voice credit to mark the spot, which I was expecting. It usually sounds like this:

"Ann" by Lechmere Worrall, LV disclaimer, Cast List with voice credits (in which the stage directions read by... is usually last) then "Act 1, Scene...

@4:36 I think it is supposed to say "Gently laughing"
@10:34 the word is "Exeunt" (ex-ee-oont) which is for a group of actors leaving the stage at the same time.
@21:37 I don't think you need "warning for curtain" as this is a staging instruction not meant for the audience.

elsieselwyn
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Joined: March 28th, 2019, 8:37 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by elsieselwyn » July 12th, 2019, 6:12 am

Elizabby wrote:
July 11th, 2019, 8:45 pm
Stage Directions Act 1, PL notes:

The intro is all fine, but it would be usual to put the Cast List in here, and there doesn't seem to be space for it, neither is there your voice credit to mark the spot, which I was expecting. It usually sounds like this:

"Ann" by Lechmere Worrall, LV disclaimer, Cast List with voice credits (in which the stage directions read by... is usually last) then "Act 1, Scene...

@4:36 I think it is supposed to say "Gently laughing"
@10:34 the word is "Exeunt" (ex-ee-oont) which is for a group of actors leaving the stage at the same time.
@21:37 I don't think you need "warning for curtain" as this is a staging instruction not meant for the audience.
Thank you! I'll fix these soon :D

elsieselwyn
Posts: 1518
Joined: March 28th, 2019, 8:37 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by elsieselwyn » July 14th, 2019, 1:08 pm

I've uploaded act 1 stage directs for Spot PL.

lymiewithpurpose
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Location: California

Post by lymiewithpurpose » July 15th, 2019, 9:40 am

elsieselwyn wrote:
July 11th, 2019, 10:20 am
lymiewithpurpose wrote:
July 9th, 2019, 12:19 pm
I have my last act.

https://librivox.org/uploads/dlolso21/ann_edward_3_128kb.mp3
9:21
Just two missed lines :D

1:36 "Now sir"

6:21 "Shhh"
How's this?

https://librivox.org/uploads/dlolso21/ann_edward_3_128kb.mp3
9:30
Campbell
Constructive criticism always welcome

Readers wanted: The Cliff-Dwellers

elsieselwyn
Posts: 1518
Joined: March 28th, 2019, 8:37 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by elsieselwyn » July 25th, 2019, 5:00 pm

lymiewithpurpose wrote:
July 15th, 2019, 9:40 am
elsieselwyn wrote:
July 11th, 2019, 10:20 am
lymiewithpurpose wrote:
July 9th, 2019, 12:19 pm
I have my last act.

https://librivox.org/uploads/dlolso21/ann_edward_3_128kb.mp3
9:21
Just two missed lines :D

1:36 "Now sir"

6:21 "Shhh"
How's this?

https://librivox.org/uploads/dlolso21/ann_edward_3_128kb.mp3
9:30
PL OK :thumbs:

elsieselwyn
Posts: 1518
Joined: March 28th, 2019, 8:37 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by elsieselwyn » July 26th, 2019, 6:47 pm

Through PM, benderca has relinquished her claim on Mrs. Hargraves. The part is now open

Elizabby
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Joined: April 1st, 2011, 5:36 pm
Location: Kelsingra

Post by Elizabby » August 1st, 2019, 5:54 pm

Stage Directions Act 2 PL Notes:

@1:17 "puts kettle on hob" (sounds like "hog" to me here?)
@1:33 I don't think you need the actor instruction "Exit Edward Right" which you've just said in the stage setting.
@10:36 You have said what's in the text, but I think this is a scanning error and should be "kettle in left hand, shoe in right hand."
@17:26 "exeunt" sounds like "excellent" here.
@20:44 "warn curtain" can come out.

Just a comment that the "busy with golf stick" you've said makes perfect sense so I'd leave it as is. Most of the other lines "busy" is either appropriate or omitted, so let's not change them.

I think you'll find when putting it all together that you don't need some of the purely directional movements such as "coming down Centre" or "moving to R.C". These aren't useful in an audio version. I think only the "action" directions, such as the stuff with the shoe and the nightdress, need to be included.

Elizabby
Posts: 8704
Joined: April 1st, 2011, 5:36 pm
Location: Kelsingra

Post by Elizabby » August 1st, 2019, 5:58 pm

Stage Directions Act 1 is now PL OK!

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