EDITING [PLAY] The Vegetable by F. Scott Fitzgerald - thw

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bhavya
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Post by bhavya » February 9th, 2019, 7:27 am

Kitty wrote:
February 8th, 2019, 4:42 am

> at 5:04: "I don’t care, he’s mine." - I nearly got a heart attack when you said “mistake” louder after that. :help:
Ooops :oops:...act 3, corrected:
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_charlottefrost_03_128kb.mp3

ChuckW
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Post by ChuckW » February 9th, 2019, 7:28 am

Kitty wrote:
February 9th, 2019, 6:39 am
ChuckW wrote:
February 8th, 2019, 4:34 pm
More Fish. Hope I didn't make him too ridiculous. :-)
no you bring the exact dose of ridicule into the play :lol: perfectly done. I especially marvel at this strange gum-swallowing noise you managed near the end. It sounds alarming :shock: btw I was fully expecting you do do the whole scene chewing gum while speaking LOL but that may have been too inarticulate maybe :mrgreen:

Excellent job, all in all. I can mark both acts PL ok. I must note however that some parts are very low in sound, and probably need amplification. But that can be done in the editing phase.

I only have two small notes for Act 2, but they are optional:

> at 3:30-3:50: (p. 65): "Nothing..." till "for almost an hour". You have this line twice here. Is there one version you prefer, then you could cut the other out, or do you want the editor to decide ?

> at 5:29-5:40: (p. 107-108): I'm not sure whether at this point Fish would be joining the chorus with the Hurrahs, especially not the "Down with Irish-Poland" shout, because he is supposed to be a citizen of Irish-Poland by then. :hmm: But of course, war has been declared, so maybe he hopes that Idaho will belong back to the US. So let's leave the lines in for now, we can let the editor decide.

Great job, Chuck !

BTW guys, I noticed something that does not really make sense. If all of Act 2 would only be in Jerry's befuddled alcohol dream, then it doesn't make sense that there are so many scenes where Jerry isn't even present :| since he would't be aware what's happening then. :wink: Or maybe he just sees it all like in a movie, yes, that could be an explanation. :hmm:

Sonia
Haha! I knew as I was doing it that I probably shouldn't read all those "hurrahs" and "down with Irish-Polands," but left them in anyway just in case. I can excise them though, if they're going on the cutting room floor anyway. (And besides, I think I'm technically doing some of the editing on this play, so it'll be easy for me to fix later.)

I also didn't think about chewing gum during my Act III lines (partially because I thought it might sound disgusting -- I live in constant fear of accidentally leaving in belches or lip smacks in my recordings). I might re-record those if I have the time and upload them as a separate file, just to see if that would sound better. :lol:
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Post by Kitty » February 9th, 2019, 2:16 pm

bhavya wrote:
February 9th, 2019, 7:27 am
Ooops :oops:...act 3, corrected:
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_charlottefrost_03_128kb.mp3
no lasting harm done, you're forgiven :lol: it's PL ok now. Thanks

Sonia

Foon
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Post by Foon » February 11th, 2019, 4:48 am

Kitty wrote:
February 7th, 2019, 6:27 am
Foon wrote:
February 7th, 2019, 5:32 am
Here are Doris act 2 and 3:
hehe, Doris is just as snotty as in Act 1. :mrgreen: :thumbs: oh and you are so mean to Dada in Act 2.

Excellent job throughout the acts, Foon.

I have only two small notes:

in Act 2:

> at about 9:08: (p. 109) missing ALL line: “Too late ?

in Act 3:

> at 1:03: (p. 116) missing beginning of line: “I didn’t say he was, did I ?” this is repeated similarily, so maybe that’s why you cut it in the editing phase. I think, it would maybe fit Doris' character to repeat such things, but I leave that to you, it's probably optional

thanks

Sonia
Doris, with corrections:
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_doris_2_128kb.mp3
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_doris_3_128kb.mp3
Foon


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Post by Kitty » February 11th, 2019, 4:55 am

excellent corrections, perfectly PL ok now. Thank you, Foon.

Sonia

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Post by Elizabby » February 12th, 2019, 3:59 pm

Here's the very threatening Mr Stutz-Mozart with his orang-utan band! You pay him, or else... they play! :lol:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_stutzmozart_1.mp3

Sorry, I realised later this should be for Act 2, but since he only appears once I don't think there should be too much confusion.

WiltedScribe
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Post by WiltedScribe » February 12th, 2019, 4:02 pm

Thanks, Beth. :) No need to worry about the filename, since he's only in one act.
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Post by Kitty » February 13th, 2019, 1:41 am

Elizabby wrote:
February 12th, 2019, 3:59 pm
Here's the very threatening Mr Stutz-Mozart with his orang-utan band! You pay him, or else... they play! :lol:
Stutz-Mozart ! that name is so hilarious :lol: And you play him highly indignated, Beth, super well done. :thumbs: I love the stern voice. I wished the guy had a longer scene.

All PL ok. Thanks !

Sonia

svonb002
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Post by svonb002 » February 15th, 2019, 7:30 pm

Here is the part for the second senator.

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_secondsenator_2_128kb.mp3 0:24 min
~ Stefan V.

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Post by Kitty » February 16th, 2019, 5:44 am

svonb002 wrote:
February 15th, 2019, 7:30 pm
Here is the part for the second senator.
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_secondsenator_2_128kb.mp3 0:24 min
thank you Stefan, all the senators are in now and your part is PL ok as well. I'm curious how they will all sound in unison. :lol:

Sonia

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Post by ToddHW » February 18th, 2019, 10:26 am

General Pushing (Mr Pushing in 3rd Act) is recorded but needs to be calmed down to eliminate clipping before he is ready to submit.

Thanks, Todd

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Post by ToddHW » February 19th, 2019, 6:25 am


Kitty
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Post by Kitty » February 19th, 2019, 12:03 pm

ToddHW wrote:
February 19th, 2019, 6:25 am
General Pushing reporting for duty.
won-der-ful performance, Todd, right from the start with your stern no-nonsense voice credit :clap: and I absolutely loved the break-down and tearful performance once he had his coat taken away. :lol: With General Pushing, Fitzgerald really managed to get all his cynical world-view on politics out of him. Make war to keep the country occupied. How tragically modern still.

A brilliant job you did. Totally PL ok. Can't wait to hear this mayhem all assembled. :D

Thanks

Sonia

SonOfTheExiles
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Post by SonOfTheExiles » February 23rd, 2019, 1:07 am

I would normally write "Snooks, Act 1 completed", but I'm still in character. A bootlegger, with criminal tendencies. Or an Australian. Either way.

So all I can say is, "Hey Buddy, c'mere. Yeah, you, c'mere! Don't let the revenooers see me pass this MP3 file to yer." https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_snooks_1_128kb.mp3

Now, in honour of Sonia taking on the role of hard-boiled detective, I think it's time for an instalment of Tracer Bullet, P.I. https://tracerbullett.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/tracer_lamp.jpg

Though who will play the "tall brunette"? Is Sandra free?

Cheers,
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Post by Kitty » February 24th, 2019, 4:46 am

SonOfTheExiles wrote:
February 23rd, 2019, 1:07 am
I would normally write "Snooks, Act 1 completed", but I'm still in character. A bootlegger, with criminal tendencies. Or an Australian. Either way.

So all I can say is, "Hey Buddy, c'mere. Yeah, you, c'mere! Don't let the revenooers see me pass this MP3 file to yer."
:lol: Snooks is brilliant, Chris. And wow you get your voice raspy again, as if you had been drinking the wood alcohol before the performance ;) excellent job, and all lines in.

Only one note:

> please add the voice credit in your second Act: "Mr Snooks, read by SotE" (while you're at it, I'm still waiting for the full voice credit for Reverend Cloys ;) )

This act can then be marked PL ok.
"Fred" (My alias. I'm workin' on an alibi)
you're so busted, mate !

Looking forward to the next act....how will Snooks get along in the White House ?

Sonia

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