Ooops ...act 3, corrected:
Ooops ...act 3, corrected:
Haha! I knew as I was doing it that I probably shouldn't read all those "hurrahs" and "down with Irish-Polands," but left them in anyway just in case. I can excise them though, if they're going on the cutting room floor anyway. (And besides, I think I'm technically doing some of the editing on this play, so it'll be easy for me to fix later.)Kitty wrote: ↑February 9th, 2019, 6:39 amno you bring the exact dose of ridicule into the play perfectly done. I especially marvel at this strange gum-swallowing noise you managed near the end. It sounds alarming btw I was fully expecting you do do the whole scene chewing gum while speaking LOL but that may have been too inarticulate maybe
Excellent job, all in all. I can mark both acts PL ok. I must note however that some parts are very low in sound, and probably need amplification. But that can be done in the editing phase.
I only have two small notes for Act 2, but they are optional:
> at 3:30-3:50: (p. 65): "Nothing..." till "for almost an hour". You have this line twice here. Is there one version you prefer, then you could cut the other out, or do you want the editor to decide ?
> at 5:29-5:40: (p. 107-108): I'm not sure whether at this point Fish would be joining the chorus with the Hurrahs, especially not the "Down with Irish-Poland" shout, because he is supposed to be a citizen of Irish-Poland by then. But of course, war has been declared, so maybe he hopes that Idaho will belong back to the US. So let's leave the lines in for now, we can let the editor decide.
Great job, Chuck !
BTW guys, I noticed something that does not really make sense. If all of Act 2 would only be in Jerry's befuddled alcohol dream, then it doesn't make sense that there are so many scenes where Jerry isn't even present since he would't be aware what's happening then. Or maybe he just sees it all like in a movie, yes, that could be an explanation.
Doris, with corrections:Kitty wrote: ↑February 7th, 2019, 6:27 amhehe, Doris is just as snotty as in Act 1. oh and you are so mean to Dada in Act 2.
Excellent job throughout the acts, Foon.
I have only two small notes:
in Act 2:
> at about 9:08: (p. 109) missing ALL line: “Too late ?”
in Act 3:
> at 1:03: (p. 116) missing beginning of line: “I didn’t say he was, did I ?” this is repeated similarily, so maybe that’s why you cut it in the editing phase. I think, it would maybe fit Doris' character to repeat such things, but I leave that to you, it's probably optional
excellent corrections, perfectly PL ok now. Thank you, Foon.Foon wrote: ↑February 11th, 2019, 4:48 amDoris, with corrections:
Stutz-Mozart ! that name is so hilarious And you play him highly indignated, Beth, super well done. I love the stern voice. I wished the guy had a longer scene.
thank you Stefan, all the senators are in now and your part is PL ok as well. I'm curious how they will all sound in unison.svonb002 wrote: ↑February 15th, 2019, 7:30 pmHere is the part for the second senator.
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/vegetable_secondsenator_2_128kb.mp3 0:24 min