COMPLETE[PLAY]A Little Bit of Fluff by Walter W. Ellis - thw

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mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » February 3rd, 2019, 6:06 pm

I enjoyed hearing your take on Tully, Campbell! :D He's delightfully awkward, isn't he? Good job on act 1. There were only a couple of missed lines, just at the very end:
TULLY (rushes across stage in front of table and arm-chair, with MAMIE’S sunshade raised in a threatening manner). John! John!

JOHN (kneeling to TULLY—pleadingly). Bertram! Bertram!!

TULLY (TULLY’S face relaxes and develops into a broad smile). Oh, John! John!! (Giggles.)
Then there we just a couple of (very minor and optional) things I noticed.

At 0:34 the line is "We-we never count John as anyone." You missed the stutter and just said "We never count John as anyone." This is really so minor that I almost didn't mention it, and if there hadn't been any missed lines, I wouldn't have. It's up to you, I think, whether or not to revisit this line. I just love how adorably awkward Tully is! :lol:
I also heard a strange crackle/click a few times. Examples are at about 8:45, 10:30, 10:35. I'm not sure what would cause this. It's very minor, and not bad enough that you need to re-record anything. But you may want to watch for it in the future.

Overall, extremely well done. I look forward to hearing the rest. :)

lymiewithpurpose
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Post by lymiewithpurpose » February 4th, 2019, 3:12 pm

Fixed it! I did revisit that line and add the stumble, adds character :D. As for the click, I've been having a giant issue with it. It's either a computer problem or a mic problem. I just got a new mic which seemed to help very much. I went back and redid all of the major clicking (believe me it gets a lot worse :|) but I'll keep an eye on it. Maybe I'll try recording into my phone next time...

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/littlebitoffluff_tully_1_128kb.mp3
15:59
Campbell
Constructive criticism always welcome

Readers wanted: The Cliff-Dwellers

lymiewithpurpose
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Post by lymiewithpurpose » February 4th, 2019, 5:35 pm

Yay! Got Act 2 recorded! Nice to be able to record after having a cold all weekend long!

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/littlebitoffluff_tully_2_128kb.mp3
Recording time: 14:09 minutes
Campbell
Constructive criticism always welcome

Readers wanted: The Cliff-Dwellers

lymiewithpurpose
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Post by lymiewithpurpose » February 4th, 2019, 8:59 pm

Campbell
Constructive criticism always welcome

Readers wanted: The Cliff-Dwellers

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » February 5th, 2019, 5:30 am

Thank you for the readings. And for the PL'ing.

Todd

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » February 5th, 2019, 12:04 pm

Act 1 is PL ok now, Campbell. Don't worry about the clicks too terribly much. The ones I heard were very minor. I just wanted to be sure you knew they were there.

I'll listen to the rest as soon as I grab some lunch! :mrgreen:

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » February 5th, 2019, 1:00 pm

I really feel for poor Tully in act 2. He just want to win one hand at cards! :lol: The things he'll do for a friend. There are only two things to address in this act:

1:49 Missed line "Their idea is of course to tire you out."
6:49 "I have a presentiment of impending disaster." I hear impeding, which is a little bit different and has a different meaning.

Everything else was wonderful! :D

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » February 5th, 2019, 1:12 pm

And act 3 is already PL ok! Great job! Just those two edits to act 2, and you're done!

(Also, I didn't hear a single click in either of these two acts, so whatever you've done seems to be working well! :thumbs:)

lymiewithpurpose
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Post by lymiewithpurpose » February 5th, 2019, 2:15 pm

Fixed act 2!
mightyfelix wrote:
February 5th, 2019, 1:12 pm
I didn't hear a single click in either of these two acts, so whatever you've done seems to be working well!
Thanks! I recorded into my phone, so I guess it was a laptop problem :hmm:. Well it works, just slightly more inconvenient since I have to edit on my laptop :cry:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/littlebitoffluff_tully_2_128kb.mp3
14:12
Campbell
Constructive criticism always welcome

Readers wanted: The Cliff-Dwellers

mightyfelix
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Joined: August 7th, 2016, 6:39 pm

Post by mightyfelix » February 5th, 2019, 2:24 pm

That was quick! PL ok!

ChuckW
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Post by ChuckW » February 9th, 2019, 7:31 am

Can I claim Nixon Trippett?
Current Projects:
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ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » February 9th, 2019, 9:08 am

Thank you both.

And now we are full. Guess I better be prep'ing more plays....

Thanks, Todd

bluechien
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Post by bluechien » February 10th, 2019, 5:36 pm

Eva D
siamo contenti? ... ho fatto questa caricatura ... - Nietzsche

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » February 10th, 2019, 6:16 pm

Thank you.

Todd

WiltedScribe
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Post by WiltedScribe » February 11th, 2019, 8:33 pm

Here is the first act of John Ayers. Quite long, but (I hope) quite fun!

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/littlebitoffluff_john_1_128kb.mp3
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