wib66 wrote: ↑September 26th, 2021, 5:57 amI have edited act 1 which I have had to split into two files as it was too long.
why did you make the first part so long and the second so short ? Maybe there would be a
more equal break at 40:43, right before Peal enters the stage and a new scene begins. (p. 25: "
Peale enters from door upper left")Then both acts would be about 40-50 minutes. I would suggest making the cut there.
I will wait to listen to Part 2 until you made the cut/paste of the 20 minutes, so the time stamps will be correct for that one.
A few other PL notes:
The
added descriptions of the cast members were actually only Chris' inventions, they are not in the actual cast list of the script. The
following 4 should be cut. As you can see, Todd didn't use them in his official casting list either.
>
at 0:31: "butler at the Martins"
>
at 0:39: "international woman of mystery"
>
at 0:44: "son of Cyrus Martin"
>
at 1:09: "advertising man"
What I noticed was that
several words either at the beginning or the end of the sentence were cut off, which I find puzzling
I noted them all down in my list, maybe you could track them down in the original files, where I'm sure they were complete.
>
at 5:51: (p. 7) "peut-être je parle trop
vite" –final word "vite" cut off
>
at 14:19: (p. 11) "
you talk just like the heroine" – first word "you" cut off
>
at 16:24: (p. 12) "says
Ouch in a loud tone" – actually, you could
insert Todd's "Ouch" into your stage directions, then
you don't have to repeat him later on
>
at 36:27: (p. 22) "it's a joke, young
man" – last word "man" is cut off
From here on it will be
Part 2:
>
at 40:49: (p. 25) "how are
you" – last word "you" is cut off
>
at 49:13: (p. 29) "what kind of garters do you
wear" – last word "wear" is cut off
>
at 1:00:06: (p. 34) "
Rodney, looking of-stage toward where Mary went" – I would keep this stage direction in, as it conveys a significant message
Great job on the whole I really enjoyed it.
Thanks
Sonia
and with good news (for this project) as well ! I will PL very soon, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there is nothing missing so you need not get back behind the microphone again
thanks for coming in and uploading it right away Chris 