FULL[PLAY]The Squire by Arthur Wing Pinero - thw

Plays and other dramatic works
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Kitty
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Post by Kitty » March 20th, 2020, 5:25 am

NemoR wrote:
March 19th, 2020, 5:00 pm
Fell, act 3 for PL: https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_fell_3_128kb.mp3
thank you Nemo, Fell here sounds quite affronted :thumbs: well done.

However, if I may suggest a bit of a change in emphasis, I think the sentence would be more comprehensible. For me it sounds a bit like he meant the single word "shop-stores", the way you say it. What Fell is so enraged about though is the fact that they called his business a "shop", and he wants to emphasize that it's "stores". So he would make more of a break between the two words: "Not a shop ! - Stores !!"

I let you decide, let me know whether you want to redo, otherwise one can also accept it like that. :)

Sonia

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Post by NemoR » March 20th, 2020, 8:46 am

Kitty wrote:
March 20th, 2020, 5:25 am

thank you Nemo, Fell here sounds quite affronted :thumbs: well done.

However, if I may suggest a bit of a change in emphasis, I think the sentence would be more comprehensible. For me it sounds a bit like he meant the single word "shop-stores", the way you say it. What Fell is so enraged about though is the fact that they called his business a "shop", and he wants to emphasize that it's "stores". So he would make more of a break between the two words: "Not a shop ! - Stores !!"

I let you decide, let me know whether you want to redo, otherwise one can also accept it like that. :)

Sonia
see if you like this better ... https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_fell_3_128kb.mp3
Nemo

Thoreau - “Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake."

ToddHW
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Post by ToddHW » March 20th, 2020, 8:53 am

Thank you, Nemo. And a big THANK YOU to Kitty/Sonia for all the continuing great PL work here and elsewhere!

Todd

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » March 20th, 2020, 11:25 am

NemoR wrote:
March 20th, 2020, 8:46 am
see if you like this better ... https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_fell_3_128kb.mp3
yes exactly, that's what I meant :thumbs: thank you, PL ok now

Sonia

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Post by silverquill » March 22nd, 2020, 11:21 pm

Taking a break from the Torchbearers to edit these acts. Seemed like a walk in the park by comparison. Hope these came out okay. I bit of pathos with Kate.

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_eric_1_128kb.mp3 8:01
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_eric_2_128kb.mp3 4:00
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_eric_3_128kb.mp3 3:55

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » March 23rd, 2020, 4:39 am

great job, Larry, thank you. Yes you managed quite some pathos (which you need to match my dramatics :lol: ) But Thorndyke still sounds more boyish immature than Kate, which is probably quite accurate, as he doesn't strike me the totally reliable type, regardless of his assurances. :|

I have a few notes to correct, but for most it was an excellent performance :)

for Act 1:

> at 0:58: "Kate's love to Eric. Oh! by Jove, I forgot!" - I would have an optional suggestion for improving this part: I would say this more softly, and then more startled/afraid. It's their secret after all, so he would be on his guards. He somehow sounds to chipper for me her, but it wouldn't be a joke if the parson had seen this inscription

> at 7:16: "you've made me make a blot" - you forgot "make", which doesn't make sense here

for Act 2:

> at about 3:52: missed line: "Then, sir, in the sight of heaven, yes."

for Act 3:

> at about 1:59: missed line: "When I get away from India, on leave, I shan't know where to bend my steps unless it's to the country that holds my girl."

thanks. When we get those corrections, acts 1 and 2 will be ready for editing :9:

Sonia

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Post by silverquill » March 23rd, 2020, 10:19 pm

I think your suggestion on the line in Act I is a good one. I hope I captured the mood a bit better.
Here are the corrected files:

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_eric_1_128kb.mp3
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_eric_2_128kb.mp3
https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_eric_3_128kb.mp3

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Post by ToddHW » March 24th, 2020, 5:07 am

Thank you.

Todd

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » March 24th, 2020, 7:02 am

silverquill wrote:
March 23rd, 2020, 10:19 pm
I think your suggestion on the line in Act I is a good one. I hope I captured the mood a bit better.
indeed, I think it's much more appropriate the way you said it this time. :thumbs:

Acts 1 and 3 are now PL ok.

For Act 2, I still think that the line is a bit off:

> at 3:52: "Then, sir, in the sight of heaven, yes." - you say "light", which I think is not the meaning here

thank you.

Act 1 can now be assembled, apart from the two missing voice credits from Act 3. 8-)

Sonia

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Post by silverquill » March 25th, 2020, 8:54 am

Kitty wrote:
March 24th, 2020, 7:02 am

For Act 2, I still think that the line is a bit off:

> at 3:52: "Then, sir, in the sight of heaven, yes." - you say "light", which I think is not the meaning here
sigh - one line and I misread it. :roll:
Let's try again. https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_eric_2_128kb.mp3

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » March 25th, 2020, 8:58 am

silverquill wrote:
March 25th, 2020, 8:54 am
sigh - one line and I misread it. :roll:
Let's try again. https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/squire_eric_2_128kb.mp3
:thumbs: got it now :) thank you, Larry, PL ok now.

Todd: Act 2 is ready to edit :9: :9:

Sonia

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Post by ToddHW » March 25th, 2020, 12:20 pm

Okay. I'm on it....

Thanks, Todd

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Post by ToddHW » March 25th, 2020, 6:21 pm

Act 1 DRAFT is just shy of too big to fit. Pinero does like to give all those stage directions to tell his actors how to act....

Thanks, Todd

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Post by ToddHW » March 26th, 2020, 10:21 am

Draft of Act 2 also done. Must groom both of these before final PL.

Wonderful voices, all of you. But in Act 2 I particularly like Felicity singing so well - and then haltingly reading written words - really creates her character so well.

Thanks, Todd

atole
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Post by atole » March 26th, 2020, 1:37 pm

Might I say - the narration in this is wizard keen wicked sick! :thumbs: Propz 2 Maggz!

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