What is the secret to finding happiness?

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Cruelle
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Post by Cruelle » November 3rd, 2020, 2:44 pm

Hey,

I’m a young person, and I often find myself despairing or feeling unhappy about life and the way that the world is. I’m wondering if anyone here has any advice. How can I live a happy life? What is the secret?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts,

Ben

TriciaG
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Post by TriciaG » November 3rd, 2020, 2:51 pm

Hmm. I have some thoughts, but they veer into religion and a whole philosophy of the universe... and such topics cause controversy and are therefore taboo on our forum. :hmm:

Suffice it for me to say, that I believe this world is not all there is, and that no one in this world is perfectly happy (or at least, not for very long). Therefore, one must find fulfillment elsewhere.

I think one thing on which all religions and philosophies can agree: One key to happiness is to not focus on oneself. Selfishness leads to disappointment. Give love (time, effort, care) to others, without expectations, and you'll soon receive positivity in return.
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annise
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Post by annise » November 3rd, 2020, 3:30 pm

It's a hard question to answer - I think down many centuries people have been asking the same question and looking for an answer, and found an answer that gives them acceptance and contentment which is not the same as happiness. It is hard when so much of what we see in films and TV shows people of your age being madly successful in all fields and incredibly popular and happy but that isn't real anymore than all the age-old tales ending ... and they all lived happily ever after.
So I hope you can find contentment, and please if things get too much for you, talk to someone you trust - in Australia we have teenage phone in lines that you can ring and talk to - is there something like that where you live? Phones are great - you can say what you want to say then.
Hope life improves for you - I'll be thinking of you

Anne

mightyfelix
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Post by mightyfelix » November 3rd, 2020, 4:04 pm

My thoughts are similar to what Tricia has said. I've never been happier than when I was focusing on giving and serving others. Focusing on myself, it's too easy to get started on an endless feedback loop that can spiral into despairing thoughts. But when I focus on other people and trying to make their lives better, it becomes easy to see all of the positive things all around me. Also, gratitude in general.

Volunteering has helped me a lot in this. Both volunteering in person (which may not be possible for awhile yet) and remotely, through things like LibriVox. :)

philchenevert
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Post by philchenevert » November 3rd, 2020, 4:57 pm

I want to jump in here with a very strong recommendation. Depression and unhappiness are feelings that have been proven to yield to Cognative Behavioral Therapy. Yep, it actually has been scientifically proven to get the job done in hundreds of peer reviewed experiments. No mumbo-jumbo here. It actually helps many other problems but unhappiness and depression are the areas that have proven most quickly affected for the better by CBT.

It is time limited (a certain number of sessions), real time focused, a joint effort between you and the therapist and very practical. You learn skills that will help you forever. I speak from experience here. It has helped many thousands to learn how to feel better about themselves and the world and to stop think those horrible negative things about themselves.

I won't go into the details of how it works even though they are simple. We can learn to question those negative thoughts about ourselves and when questioned instead of accepted as truth, when they are actually looked at they usually just evaporate.

'Nuff said. my very best wishes and good thoughts. Image Hello Kitty sends her good vibes too.
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CSCO
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Post by CSCO » November 4th, 2020, 5:15 am

Hi, young Eeyore!

Your question is very hard. But my answer is very simple: Don't think about it. Because even King Solomon couldn't fill his emptiness.

Instead:

1) If you are in your growth period, drink milk 2 liters a day and jump up all day! You would reach 3 meters tall! (The taller, the better.)

2) Start to memorize the Holy Bible and follow our Lord. (The sooner, the better.)

3) Get into the habit of saving your money! (Don't bother Jesus about your money problems.)

And go fishing. When you are eating the fish you caught, the magic moment comes. You would find out: "If I were a fish, I could swim!!"
!!!!!!.!!!!!!.!!!!.!!!!!!!!!..!!!.!!!!!!!!!!!...!!!!!!!!!.!!!!!!.!!!!.!!!!!!.!!!!
No way. He stole away a pretty thing, you know.
That's your heart.
!!!!.!!!!!!.!!!!.!!!!!!!!!..!!!.!!!!!!!!!!!...!!!!!.!!!!!!.!!!!!!!!.!!!!!!.!!!!!!

Cruelle
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Post by Cruelle » November 5th, 2020, 2:24 pm

Thanks for your replies, I’ll keep trying to work on it! Fingers crossed.

ej400
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Post by ej400 » November 5th, 2020, 10:53 pm

This is kinda tough. I know why I am sometimes upset or feeling down, but the nice thing is I know what can make me happy again.

First off, I am a very strong believer that music drives the mood. Certainly types of music make your mood, and science has even proven it. If you are sad, listen to sad music, cry it out... but it makes you better (OK, NOT the best advice when you are already feeling down LOL). But, if you are happy... listen to happy music. If you are mad, listen to rock or something a bit angry, it will help calm you down (somehow).

Secondly, find your interests/hobbies. What makes you passionate and happy. What do you like to do? Do more of what you like, and if you can't find what you like, find something new. For example... baseball season is over here in America, and I am sad now LOL. Maybe I'll watch some basketball instead. This probably isn't the best example, but I hope it gets the point across.

Thirdly, what is making you feel the way you are? Write it down. Write about how you are feeling.

And of course... more librivox time :lol:

Bookerina
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Post by Bookerina » November 9th, 2020, 11:08 am

Breathe!
I like to breathe consciously, breathe in freshness, love, nature... you could say it is meditation. I try to remember doing it during walks, or if I do a break I will open the window and take it all in. You can also breathe deeply while working or doing less motivational tasks.
I think you can give advice on a whole lot of levels, like religion, philosophy... but I like to think, that the most basic little routines are as helpful and can be applied by most people :)

Bookworm360
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Post by Bookworm360 » November 12th, 2020, 8:05 pm

Turn off the news. Way too much bad stuff. :(. Well, that’s really one of many tips.
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