'Colin' needs your help

MARTIN GEESON · Post by **MARTIN GEESON** » February 22nd, 2015, 7:30 am

This is very far off-topic...

Sir/Madam, Town Clerk of Haslemere -

I was today walking a terrier along the path beside Sturt Road allotments when I came upon a laminated flyer informing foot-passengers that a demand had been made by local people (unnamed, naturally) to snuff out the life of a cockerel which is currently housed among the allotments along with his companion hens. The residents (if indeed plural) object to the early morning call of this very handsome bird - a Sussex Blue. As a matter of fact, there is no dwelling at all close to the chicken run where 'Colin' holds sway. The complainant(s) presumably live in the New Road/School Road area.

I have often heard the cheerful cry of this bird. It is a spirit-lifting reminder that, for all the deficiencies of Haslemere as a place-to-live for people under the age of crabbѐd, world-rejecting senility, we Camelsdale residents are lucky enough to reside on the fringes of countryside generally acknowledged as beautiful, even by those whose life-force has dwindled into mere irritability and vindictiveness.

I am struck almost dumb by the mentality demonstrated by persons who would call for the destruction of a beautiful and distinctive creature whose existence - unlike those of many whom I will not call his neighbours - serves such an obviously useful purpose. His cry is jubilant and melodious, and would provoke a smile in anyone who was not completely soured by the inveterate habit of demanding the extinction of all life-signs that conflict with his/her desiccated ideal of bourgeois tranquillity.

"Off with his head!" is their response to this emblematic bird, whose call has been celebrated down the ages in song and fable, as the symbol of joyful fecundity and - this is the sticking-point, you ancient, life-denying busybodies! - of lust for increase. You yourselves would never have graced this Earth (I employ ultimate sarcasm!) without the flow of desire which this bird expresses in his splendid greeting to the day.

I write to beg, in the name of sanity and decent human values, that the very pusillanimous and uncharitable individual(s) who called for the execution of a defenceless creature incapable of doing them any harm - Gadzooks, it does not even befoul the pavement, an act which constitutes the worst crime of which this species of social commentator can normally conceive - I say again, I plead for the life of this pretty, spontaneous bird. Let me hear his merry, life-affirming call - if, that is, I am lucky enough to hear it as I make my way beside its rather secluded abode.

Regards and hopes.

Martin Geeson, resident of New Road

Those wishing to support the campaign to save the life of this creature should post expressions of support to:

*please PM Martin for the details ... it's better not to put email addresses in the forum, so they don't get harvested by spammers*

COQUERRICO_O_O_o!!!!

MaryinArkansas · Post by **MaryinArkansas** » February 24th, 2015, 12:31 pm

It is a shame Mr. Geeson's letter isn't in the public domain because it would make a great LibriVox recording.

Can Colin be saved by foreigners?

haimerej · Post by **haimerej** » February 24th, 2015, 4:27 pm

just a thought but perhaps an online petition of some sort could help spread awareness and support more widely?

MARTIN GEESON · Post by **MARTIN GEESON** » February 25th, 2015, 6:12 am

The latest on the Adventure of the Sussex Blue Cockerel -

Within 24 hours the Town Clerk of Haslemere responded very briefly to my expostulation upon the treatment of 'Colin'. She advised that the destruction of the bird was 'never contemplated' and that the owner had successfully pursued the matter via a social media campaign, resulting in several offers to 're-home' him.

Mysteriously, on the day following, when the terrier and I passed by the bird's domain, we found an updated bulletin. The owner is claiming that Colin remains under threat of extinction. There is no mention of the complacent involvement of the Hamelin - sorry, Haslemere - municipality, except a renewed appeal for representations to the Town Clerk. Most significantly, Colin himself was still standing on his wooden dais, presiding over the 15 members of his harim.

Someone has put me in touch with a local descendant of Miss Marple, who will enquire into the matter. She has friends among the allotment-holders. This is a relief to me; for I worry that I am getting out of my depth...

scout · Post by **scout** » February 25th, 2015, 12:05 pm

Content retracted.

Daniel

MARTIN GEESON · Post by **MARTIN GEESON** » February 25th, 2015, 12:45 pm

I assure you- this is not a hoax. Since I retired from work, the oppressive nature of small-town society has weighed upon me more and more. Occasionally, in a place like Haslemere, events like this crop up that take on a symbolic value which may seem greater than their actual significance. I do in fact care about the future of this creature and am exerting myself to protect its interests.

It may be, Daniel, that you are not (like myself) a lifelong introvert whose potential contribution to wider society has been suppressed like that of Lewis Carroll's Dormouse at the behest of the Queen of Hearts. But I would ask you to imagine that a fellow like me could occupy the welcome closing phase of his life by provoking trouble in a good cause. I intend to go on doing it.

Best wishes
Martin

scout · Post by **scout** » February 26th, 2015, 4:42 am

Unfortunately an unknown mod is removing my latest post(s) in this conversation.

Will this cowardly person please make him/herself known and state his/her objections to my posts?

Daniel

Carolin · Post by **Carolin** » February 26th, 2015, 5:26 am

daniel, all posts that violate the be nice policy are removed from the forum as soon as they come to our attention.

scout · Post by **scout** » February 26th, 2015, 8:57 am

Content retracted.

Daniel

MARTIN GEESON · Post by **MARTIN GEESON** » March 2nd, 2015, 6:22 am

Has the thread been cut? The thread of Life, that is. Has Atropos, the third of the Fates, come in the night to settle Colin's future?

My local informant has not been able to discover the course of events. All I can report is that this is the third consecutive day since the terrier and I have seen Colin standing majestically on his podium. It may be that those who feel entitled to forbid others from inhabiting the night (or marking its end with a cry of triumph), have succeeded. Colin may be exiled or decapitated.

Am I the only person who believes that human beings are not the only creatures who should decide which sounds and gestures are acceptable contents of what we call Night and Day?

Martin

MaryinArkansas · Post by **MaryinArkansas** » March 2nd, 2015, 9:39 pm

I hope for the best for Colin. Whatever the outcome, he has a true champion in Mr. Geeson.