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Post Posted:: December 9th, 2016, 6:02 pm 

Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

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Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/


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Post Posted:: December 9th, 2016, 6:22 pm 

Joined: November 30th, 2008, 9:57 pm
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Location: Vancouver Island BC
What do you call a painter with flatulence?

Artsy fartsy

--Hazel

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Post Posted:: December 13th, 2016, 8:02 am 
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How to fall down the stairs.

Step 1
Step 6
Step 7, 8, 9, 11
____

Steps to survive on a dessert island.
1. check spelling
2. if correct, enjoy.

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My friend told me that I need to stop singing I'm a believer because
it was getting annoying and I laughed because I though she was kidding

but then I saw her face.

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Post Posted:: December 13th, 2016, 10:51 am 

Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm
Posts: 255
For the choral singers in the crowd:

The following rules are intended as a guide to the development of habits which will promote the proper type of relationship between singers and the conductor.

- Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, and of a draft. It's best to do this when the conductor is under pressure or has just raised her arms to start a piece of music.
- Bury your head in the music just before the first downbeat of each song. Keep it there.
- Loudly clear your throat during pauses.
- Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to blow your nose.
- Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that you don't have the music.
- Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.
- When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is written. This is excellent ear-training for the conductor. If she hears the pitch, deny it vehemently and claim that it must have been someone else, probably in the bass section.
- When working on a piece in a new language, interrupt the rehearsal to ensure you’re getting a new word correctly. Say the word twice and ask her preference, making sure to say it exactly the same both times. If she remarks on their similarity, give her a look of utter disdain and mumble under your breath about the "subtleties of inflection".

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Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/


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Post Posted:: December 19th, 2016, 12:27 am 

Joined: November 24th, 2005, 3:54 am
Posts: 3990
Location: Chigwell (North-East London, U.K.)
I saw a mention of the "gorilla golf joke" when I was reading my way through the Peanuts cartoon strips. When I did an internet search, I found this link to a page of golf jokes. I'm not a player, but I still found quite a few worth a snort or a smile.

http://www.kellys.com/golf/jokes.html

Peter

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Post Posted:: December 19th, 2016, 4:38 am 

Joined: June 24th, 2012, 10:28 pm
Posts: 1350
Location: Australia
kukailimoku wrote:
For the choral singers in the crowd:

The following rules are intended as a guide to the development of habits which will promote the proper type of relationship between singers and the conductor.

snip...




Tell the choir:Don't mind me, chat among yourselves.

Best,

Barbara


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Post Posted:: December 21st, 2016, 1:40 pm 

Joined: December 20th, 2013, 1:14 am
Posts: 825
Location: Sydney, Australia
Hmm, no mention of what Harry Secombe used to call "The Tenor's Friend". Also known as "The Baritone's Buddy".

SOTE

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Post Posted:: December 21st, 2016, 3:10 pm 

Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm
Posts: 255
Along the same lines, for us conductor-types, the rules:

The music stand you get will wobble.
Singers late for rehearsal are always those who sit in the first row.
The longer the rests, the less likely a section will enter after them.
At least one music folder will be left behind after each rehearsal.
It will usually belong to the same singer.
If it is not the same singer, there will be no name in the folder.
Even if everything is explained perfectly, there will still be a question.
You will have just answered the question one minute before it was asked.
At least one name will be left off the concert program.
It will be the wife of the largest sponsor’s president.
If there are two ways to spell a name, the wrong one will be selected for the program.
If the audience can clap at the wrong time, they will.
At concert festivals, three other choirs will sing your toughest piece.
All three perform before you do, and sing it better.
Give a strongly-worded lecture about punctuality and you will be late to the next rehearsal.
At least one mobile phone will ring during a rehearsal.
You will have explicitly given a speech about turning them off just minutes before.
At least one member of the chorus will forget to change the key with everyone else. They will be singing the loudest
If there is a long, dramatic fermata in the piece, at least one singer will keep singing.
He will be a bass.
He will sing fortissimo.
He will sing out of tune.
And my favorite: The least believable sentence in conducting: “One more time”

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Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/


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Post Posted:: December 21st, 2016, 3:14 pm 

Joined: August 21st, 2014, 9:34 am
Posts: 1952
Location: Probably the holodeck :)
That is great! :lol:

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Post Posted:: December 21st, 2016, 5:00 pm 
LibriVox Admin Team

Joined: April 3rd, 2008, 3:55 am
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Location: Melbourne,Australia
Sounds a bit like LibriVox is sometimes :D

Anne

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Post Posted:: December 21st, 2016, 5:20 pm 

Joined: February 24th, 2013, 7:14 am
Posts: 1683
Location: New Hampshire, USA
kukailimoku wrote:
Along the same lines, for us conductor-types, the rules:

...
And my favorite: The least believable sentence in conducting: “One more time”
I believe it ought to be "One last time"

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tovarisch
    reality prompts me to scale down my reading, sorry to say
    to PLers: do correct my pronunciation please


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Post Posted:: December 22nd, 2016, 6:10 pm 

Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm
Posts: 255
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

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Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/


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Post Posted:: December 28th, 2016, 3:51 pm 

Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm
Posts: 255
What's the world without a little Grouch Marx?

- I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you came home.
- Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail out of it.
- Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.
- [locked in a bathroom] Hey let me out! Let me out of here, or throw me a magazine!
- I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school.
- Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot. But don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

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Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/


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Post Posted:: January 10th, 2017, 1:46 pm 

Joined: June 8th, 2014, 2:31 pm
Posts: 41
You are sooo skinny, you have to walk past a spot twice to cast a shadow there
You are sooo skinny, people debate whether you are two dimensional or three.
You are sooo skinny, you trip in the library and fall between book pages


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Post Posted:: January 11th, 2017, 2:31 pm 

Joined: June 8th, 2014, 2:31 pm
Posts: 41
You are sooo fat, you have your own personal GPS satellites to help you identify where to tighten your belt.
You are sooo fat, black holes scream as they fall into you.
You are sooo fat, light from the beginning of the universe has not had enough time to reach from one side of you to the other.


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