Tell a joke

Everything except LibriVox (yes, this is where knitting gets discussed. Now includes non-LV Volunteers Wanted projects)
DavidYoung
Posts: 167
Joined: March 3rd, 2020, 1:36 pm
Location: Wrocław, Poland

Post by DavidYoung »

I say, I say, I say.
How do you know when you have been burgled by a born-again Christian?
You just really, really, just really just know. Really.

And they don't pinch any of your Derek Jarman DVDs.
lightcrystal
Posts: 1213
Joined: October 22nd, 2021, 10:55 pm
Location: Melbourne with kangaroos

Post by lightcrystal »

DavidYoung wrote: June 10th, 2022, 9:44 am I say, I say, I say.
How do you know when you have been burgled by a born-again Christian?
You just really, really, just really just know. Really.

And they don't pinch any of your Derek Jarman DVDs.
What happens when a born-again Christian meets a born-again Satanist?

They agree to work together to rob the nearest charity store. To give free socks to homeless people everywhere.
I use Linux. I also like penguins.
maxgal
Posts: 3247
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal »

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs, hanging on the wall?
A: Art.
Louise
"every little breeze..."

Fun Fact: 40% of all statistics are wrong.
maxgal
Posts: 3247
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal »

lightcrystal wrote: June 10th, 2022, 10:00 am
DavidYoung wrote: June 10th, 2022, 9:44 am I say, I say, I say.
How do you know when you have been burgled by a born-again Christian?
You just really, really, just really just know. Really.

And they don't pinch any of your Derek Jarman DVDs.
What happens when a born-again Christian meets a born-again Satanist?

They agree to work together to rob the nearest charity store. To give free socks to homeless people everywhere.
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic devil worshipers who sold their souls to Santa?
Louise
"every little breeze..."

Fun Fact: 40% of all statistics are wrong.
mightyfelix
LibriVox Admin Team
Posts: 11103
Joined: August 7th, 2016, 6:39 pm

Post by mightyfelix »

I know a guy who built a car entirely out of wood.

He couldn't drive it though. Wooden start.
maxgal
Posts: 3247
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal »

Q: Where do mansplainers get their water?
A: From a well, actually.
Louise
"every little breeze..."

Fun Fact: 40% of all statistics are wrong.
maxgal
Posts: 3247
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal »

The Past, the Present, and the Future met in a bar.
It was tense.
Louise
"every little breeze..."

Fun Fact: 40% of all statistics are wrong.
DavidYoung
Posts: 167
Joined: March 3rd, 2020, 1:36 pm
Location: Wrocław, Poland

Post by DavidYoung »

Darts fly like arrows.
Fruit flies like bananas.
maxgal
Posts: 3247
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal »

DavidYoung wrote: March 11th, 2023, 6:09 am Darts fly like arrows.
Fruit flies like bananas.
:lol:
Louise
"every little breeze..."

Fun Fact: 40% of all statistics are wrong.
maxgal
Posts: 3247
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal »

As the squirrel said to his psychiatrist:
"When I learned that you are what you eat, I suddenly realized -- I'm nuts!"
Louise
"every little breeze..."

Fun Fact: 40% of all statistics are wrong.
Dulcamara
Posts: 7565
Joined: December 23rd, 2020, 1:14 pm
Location: Barataria

Post by Dulcamara »

maxgal wrote: May 8th, 2023, 1:12 pm As the squirrel said to his psychiatrist:
"When I learned that you are what you eat, I suddenly realized -- I'm nuts!"
:lol:
Jasna

Second to the right and then straight on till morning.
txphred
Posts: 73
Joined: June 29th, 2021, 10:40 pm
Location: Nueces county Texas
Contact:

Post by txphred »

I thought my English teacher disliked me. The term paper assignments were all on current hot topics, but mine. I had to write endless letters to foreign governments to find information on "Youth In Asia". Eventually I received a mass of material from many Asian countries; and many kind personal letters. My oral report... well the teacher went into a angry fit. I was driven out and dragged before the Dean AND the Headmaster. She had never written out euthanasia for me. (The Dean took me on for individual instruction in technical writing...)

txphred
Dulcamara
Posts: 7565
Joined: December 23rd, 2020, 1:14 pm
Location: Barataria

Post by Dulcamara »

txphred wrote: May 8th, 2023, 9:27 pm I thought my English teacher disliked me. The term paper assignments were all on current hot topics, but mine. I had to write endless letters to foreign governments to find information on "Youth In Asia". Eventually I received a mass of material from many Asian countries; and many kind personal letters. My oral report... well the teacher went into a angry fit. I was driven out and dragged before the Dean AND the Headmaster. She had never written out euthanasia for me. (The Dean took me on for individual instruction in technical writing...)

txphred
:lol:
Jasna

Second to the right and then straight on till morning.
maxgal
Posts: 3247
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal »

I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having her motive questioned.
Louise
"every little breeze..."

Fun Fact: 40% of all statistics are wrong.
maxgal
Posts: 3247
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal »

As the bear said to his psychiatrist:
"The insomnia is getting worse. I set my alarm for May, but I start tossing & turning by January."
Louise
"every little breeze..."

Fun Fact: 40% of all statistics are wrong.
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