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aradlaw
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Post by aradlaw » February 12th, 2021, 3:52 pm

What gives you butterflies every single time, no matter how many times you experience it?


Buying caterpillars.
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!

aradlaw
LibriVox Admin Team
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Post by aradlaw » February 12th, 2021, 3:55 pm

Accordion to a recent study, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!

Bookworm360
Posts: 411
Joined: December 25th, 2017, 11:23 pm
Location: Lurelin Village, Hyrule

Post by Bookworm360 » February 12th, 2021, 6:55 pm

Brilliant aradlaw! :lol: Here’s one of mine:
What city in the Netherlands is named for a rodent?
Hamsterdam.
2 Timothy 1:7. Look it up.
Check out these projects:
Understood Betsy(Dramatic Reading)

wib66
Posts: 10072
Joined: January 5th, 2012, 8:57 am

Post by wib66 » February 13th, 2021, 1:58 pm

What does a nosey pepper do?

It gets jalapeño business.

JayKitty76
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Post by JayKitty76 » February 13th, 2021, 11:13 pm

aradlaw wrote:
February 12th, 2021, 3:55 pm
Accordion to a recent study, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.
Oh wow. It took me about six times retreading this to finally see that :shock:

wib66
Posts: 10072
Joined: January 5th, 2012, 8:57 am

Post by wib66 » February 14th, 2021, 3:26 am

Why are crabs so bad at sharing?

Because they’re all shellfish.

JayKitty76
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Post by JayKitty76 » February 15th, 2021, 12:34 pm

I wanted to go jogging but Proverbs 28:1 says “The wicked run when no one is chasing them” so there’s that *shrug*

realisticspeakers
Posts: 1790
Joined: December 6th, 2010, 5:15 pm

Post by realisticspeakers » February 15th, 2021, 1:23 pm

Two monocles walk into a bar.
They made spectacles of themselves.
Truth exists for the wise, Beauty for a feeling heart: They belong to each other. - Beethoven
Disclaimer:
"Kind reader, if this our performance doth in aught fall short of promise, blame not our good intent, but our unperfect wit."

Bookworm360
Posts: 411
Joined: December 25th, 2017, 11:23 pm
Location: Lurelin Village, Hyrule

Post by Bookworm360 » February 15th, 2021, 3:41 pm

An elderly couple buy phones together and learn how to text for the first time. She was a romantic, while he was more of a no-nonsense type. One morning, the wife decided to send her husband a text. She wrote, “If you are laughing, send me your smile, if you are crying, send me your tears, if you are sleeping, send me your dreams. I love you.” He wrote back, “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
And what do you call it when a banana eats another banana?
Cannibananalism.
2 Timothy 1:7. Look it up.
Check out these projects:
Understood Betsy(Dramatic Reading)

Bookworm360
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Location: Lurelin Village, Hyrule

Post by Bookworm360 » February 16th, 2021, 1:15 pm

Hazel Pethig wrote:
January 17th, 2009, 9:38 pm
Robinsgirl wrote:
Hazel Pethig wrote:If you say gullible v-e-r-y slowly, it sounds like "green beans"

:lol: :D

--Hazel
No it doesnt.....

Edit: oh :shock:
:lol: :lol: :lol: rotfl!!!!

I can't believe someone fell for that.

--Hazel
I fell for it. :roll:
2 Timothy 1:7. Look it up.
Check out these projects:
Understood Betsy(Dramatic Reading)

Bookworm360
Posts: 411
Joined: December 25th, 2017, 11:23 pm
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Post by Bookworm360 » February 17th, 2021, 9:00 am

Hazel Pethig wrote:
March 14th, 2010, 10:02 pm
You know you are a red neck when...
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think 'The Nutcracker' is a vice on the work bench.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15 You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23 You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is WalMart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph

Sorry to any red necks, it's all in jest!

--Hazel
We should start a new thread: You Know You’re a Redneck When... and have people continue the list! :wink:
2 Timothy 1:7. Look it up.
Check out these projects:
Understood Betsy(Dramatic Reading)

Bookworm360
Posts: 411
Joined: December 25th, 2017, 11:23 pm
Location: Lurelin Village, Hyrule

Post by Bookworm360 » February 17th, 2021, 9:18 am

DrewJ wrote:
December 6th, 2013, 5:16 pm
You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If...
1. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
2. Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
3. At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
4. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
5. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
6. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
7. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
8. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
9. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
10. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electroshock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
11. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
12. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
This one would fit too.
2 Timothy 1:7. Look it up.
Check out these projects:
Understood Betsy(Dramatic Reading)

SonOfTheExiles
Posts: 2311
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 1:14 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Post by SonOfTheExiles » March 1st, 2021, 5:10 pm

If you get bored during lockdown, try finally learning the difference between your and you're.

Their, I finally said it.
"Sorry, my tongue got in the way of my eye-tooth, and I couldn't see what I was saying..."
APOD

George Essex Evans Roderic Quinn Mary Hannay Foott Marie E. J. Pitt James Hebblethwaite Shaw Neilson

JayKitty76
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Post by JayKitty76 » March 1st, 2021, 5:26 pm

SonOfTheExiles wrote:
March 1st, 2021, 5:10 pm
If you get bored during lockdown, try finally learning the difference between your and you're.

Their, I finally said it.
*smirk*

ezwa
LibriVox Admin Team
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Location: Belgium

Post by ezwa » March 2nd, 2021, 1:12 pm

SonOfTheExiles wrote:
March 1st, 2021, 5:10 pm
If you get bored during lockdown, try finally learning the difference between your and you're.

Their, I finally said it.

But than, others should try to learn the difference between their and there.




:oP
Ezwa

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