Tell a joke

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ej400
Posts: 2867
Joined: September 24th, 2014, 10:26 am
Location: Minnesota

Post by ej400 » March 1st, 2019, 9:17 am

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

lymiewithpurpose
Posts: 2126
Joined: January 18th, 2019, 6:26 pm

Post by lymiewithpurpose » March 1st, 2019, 9:20 am

ej400 wrote:
March 1st, 2019, 9:17 am
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducked.
<groan> :roll:
Campbell
pronouns: they/them

IIparrkerrII
Posts: 5
Joined: January 28th, 2019, 6:39 am

Post by IIparrkerrII » March 1st, 2019, 11:22 am

What do you call a body builder with epilepsy?















Beef jerky

SonOfTheExiles
Posts: 2153
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 1:14 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Post by SonOfTheExiles » July 9th, 2019, 3:43 pm

I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having its motives questioned.
"Sorry, my tongue got in the way of my eye-tooth, and I couldn't see what I was saying..."
APOD

Victor J Daley George Essex Evans Roderic Quinn Mary Hannay Foott Marie E. J. Pitt James Hebblethwaite Shaw Neilson

maxgal
Posts: 916
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal » November 18th, 2020, 9:10 am

ej400 wrote:
March 1st, 2019, 9:17 am
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducked.
:lol:

The version I've heard is:
"Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have seen it." :lol:
Last edited by maxgal on November 18th, 2020, 9:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
Louise
"every little breeze..."

maxgal
Posts: 916
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal » November 18th, 2020, 9:11 am

SonOfTheExiles wrote:
July 9th, 2019, 3:43 pm
I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having its motives questioned.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
This is now one of "my" jokes.
Louise
"every little breeze..."

maxgal
Posts: 916
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal » November 18th, 2020, 9:16 am

Here's one for all those word nerds (we know who we are):

The past, the present, and the future met in a bar.
It was tense.

(p.s. -- or in a cafe, or in a restaurant, or on a desert island and wearing masks and properly socially distanced)
Louise
"every little breeze..."

maxgal
Posts: 916
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal » November 18th, 2020, 3:16 pm

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic devil worshipers who sold their souls to Santa?
Louise
"every little breeze..."

maxgal
Posts: 916
Joined: June 8th, 2019, 10:24 am

Post by maxgal » November 18th, 2020, 3:22 pm

A guy walks into a saloon and sits at the end of the bar.
On the bar are bowls of the usual salty snacks, peanuts, chips, etc.
The bartender brings him his drink and steps away.
The guy hears a voice say, "Nice tie."
He looks around and sees no one but the bartender at the other end of the bar.
He then hears a voice say, "I like your shirt, too."
He looks around again and sees no one but the bartender.
He calls the bartender over and says, "Look, I don't see anyone else here, but I could swear I just heard someone say, "Nice tie," and "I like your shirt, too."
The bartender smiles and says, "Oh, those are complimentary peanuts."
Louise
"every little breeze..."

SonOfTheExiles
Posts: 2153
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 1:14 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Post by SonOfTheExiles » January 1st, 2021, 8:29 pm

Under the new casual-dress code, Lenin’s conservators will henceforth be using informaldehyde.

Cheers,
Chris
"Sorry, my tongue got in the way of my eye-tooth, and I couldn't see what I was saying..."
APOD

Victor J Daley George Essex Evans Roderic Quinn Mary Hannay Foott Marie E. J. Pitt James Hebblethwaite Shaw Neilson

mightyfelix
LibriVox Admin Team
Posts: 7240
Joined: August 7th, 2016, 6:39 pm

Post by mightyfelix » January 1st, 2021, 8:41 pm

When do event planners have fun?
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Occasionally.

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