Tell a joke

Everything except LibriVox (yes, this is where knitting gets discussed. Now includes non-LV Volunteers Wanted projects)
realisticspeakers
Posts: 2033
Joined: December 6th, 2010, 5:15 pm

Post by realisticspeakers »

Gullible comes from the Old Norse word "gull" as in the bird, who swallows things whole.
Truth exists for the wise, Beauty for a feeling heart: They belong to each other. - Beethoven
Disclaimer:
"Kind reader, if this our performance doth in aught fall short of promise, blame not our good intent, but our unperfect wit."
tovarisch
Posts: 2936
Joined: February 24th, 2013, 7:14 am
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Post by tovarisch »

I heard that the word "gullible" wasn't actually in the dictionary...
tovarisch
  • reality prompts me to scale down my reading, sorry to say
    to PLers: do correct my pronunciation please
aradlaw
LibriVox Admin Team
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Post by aradlaw »

"Is it a bird? Is it a plane?" and that's how I lost my apprenticeship as a carpenter.

I like to meet my wife everyday for lunch at 12:59.. ... I really enjoy our one to one time.

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H20. What's on the outside? K9P
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!
kukailimoku
Posts: 264
Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm

Post by kukailimoku »

Grooooaaaannnnn...

Several times.
Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/
tovarisch
Posts: 2936
Joined: February 24th, 2013, 7:14 am
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Post by tovarisch »

Guest at a posh restaurant: What's the special today?
Waiter: It's meadow-lark pie, sir.
Guest: Hmm... I'll have that.
(in a few minutes the waiter brings a huge slice filled with meat)
Guest: Oh, and how many meadow-larks did you have to catch to prepare that!
Waiter (confidentially): Well, the chef does mix in some horse meat, sir.
Guest: Horse meat? In what proportion?
Waiter: Strictly fifty-fifty, sir. Half a meadow-lark, half a horse.
tovarisch
  • reality prompts me to scale down my reading, sorry to say
    to PLers: do correct my pronunciation please
realisticspeakers
Posts: 2033
Joined: December 6th, 2010, 5:15 pm

Post by realisticspeakers »

tovarisch wrote: March 20th, 2018, 10:48 am ...Half a meadow-lark, half a horse.
I must have studied this for about 5 whole minutes before it hit me suddenly.
Truth exists for the wise, Beauty for a feeling heart: They belong to each other. - Beethoven
Disclaimer:
"Kind reader, if this our performance doth in aught fall short of promise, blame not our good intent, but our unperfect wit."
aradlaw
LibriVox Admin Team
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Joined: July 14th, 2008, 4:54 pm
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
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Post by aradlaw »

I've just started a dating site for chickens. It's not my normal day job. I'm just doing it to make Hens meet.

Want to play a real life version of Pac-Man?
Then go to a furniture store and try and avoid the salesrep.

Back in the day everyone owned a horse, it was the rich that had cars. Now everyone owns cars and it's the rich that have horses.
My how the stables have turned.
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!
SonOfTheExiles
Posts: 2649
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 1:14 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Post by SonOfTheExiles »

COST OF AUTOMOBILE REPAIR
————————————————

If your car sounds like:

“ping-click-ping” - $25
“click-whine-click” - $50
“clunk-whine-clunk” - $100
“thud-clunk-thud” - $200
“clang-thud-clang” - $500
“Can’t describe it” - $1000


Chris
Currently on sabbatical from Librivox
aradlaw
LibriVox Admin Team
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Post by aradlaw »

Have YOU had to walk 500 miles?? Were you advised to walk 500 more??
You could be entitled to compensation...Call the Pro Claimers now...
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!
SonOfTheExiles
Posts: 2649
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 1:14 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Post by SonOfTheExiles »

What does an occasional table do when it’s not being a table?
Currently on sabbatical from Librivox
annise
LibriVox Admin Team
Posts: 38572
Joined: April 3rd, 2008, 3:55 am
Location: Melbourne,Australia

Post by annise »

It becomes notable ???
kukailimoku
Posts: 264
Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm

Post by kukailimoku »

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

The minister sat.

The song leader stood and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'"

:mrgreen:
Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/
ccfpcl
Posts: 243
Joined: June 13th, 2013, 7:36 am

Post by ccfpcl »

Can't take credit for this one - heard on Radio 4 yesterday. Thought it would appeal to word lovers though..

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who was doing research on alternatives to novocaine in root canal treatment?

He was into trends in dental medication :lol:

Chris.
aradlaw
LibriVox Admin Team
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Joined: July 14th, 2008, 4:54 pm
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Post by aradlaw »

Today marks rour weeks without sugar. Running 5 miles a day...no meat, dairy, or flour. No Caffeine! The change has been fantastic! I feel great! Zero alcohol! A healthy diet. A healthy VEGAN diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 2 hour workout every day. I don't know whose status this is but I an really proud of them. So I decided to copy and paste.
_____

To the person who stole my anti-depressants... I hope your happy now!!!

____

Confucius said, "Never check the depth of water with both feet."
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!
kukailimoku
Posts: 264
Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm

Post by kukailimoku »

Murphy's rule of hockey: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the game. The aisle people also are very surly folk. Not only at hockey games, anywhere there are seats in a row!
Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/
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