Tell a joke

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realisticspeakers
Posts: 654
Joined: December 6th, 2010, 5:15 pm

Post by realisticspeakers » March 9th, 2018, 12:42 pm

Gullible comes from the Old Norse word "gull" as in the bird, who swallows things whole.

tovarisch
Posts: 2407
Joined: February 24th, 2013, 7:14 am
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Post by tovarisch » March 9th, 2018, 1:38 pm

I heard that the word "gullible" wasn't actually in the dictionary...
tovarisch
  • reality prompts me to scale down my reading, sorry to say
    to PLers: do correct my pronunciation please

aradlaw
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Post by aradlaw » March 9th, 2018, 2:38 pm

"Is it a bird? Is it a plane?" and that's how I lost my apprenticeship as a carpenter.

I like to meet my wife everyday for lunch at 12:59.. ... I really enjoy our one to one time.

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H20. What's on the outside? K9P
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!
* 3 section now open in A Wonder Book for Girls and Boys

kukailimoku
Posts: 262
Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm

Post by kukailimoku » March 9th, 2018, 6:44 pm

Grooooaaaannnnn...

Several times.
Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/

tovarisch
Posts: 2407
Joined: February 24th, 2013, 7:14 am
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Post by tovarisch » March 20th, 2018, 10:48 am

Guest at a posh restaurant: What's the special today?
Waiter: It's meadow-lark pie, sir.
Guest: Hmm... I'll have that.
(in a few minutes the waiter brings a huge slice filled with meat)
Guest: Oh, and how many meadow-larks did you have to catch to prepare that!
Waiter (confidentially): Well, the chef does mix in some horse meat, sir.
Guest: Horse meat? In what proportion?
Waiter: Strictly fifty-fifty, sir. Half a meadow-lark, half a horse.
tovarisch
  • reality prompts me to scale down my reading, sorry to say
    to PLers: do correct my pronunciation please

realisticspeakers
Posts: 654
Joined: December 6th, 2010, 5:15 pm

Post by realisticspeakers » March 20th, 2018, 7:51 pm

tovarisch wrote:
March 20th, 2018, 10:48 am
...Half a meadow-lark, half a horse.
I must have studied this for about 5 whole minutes before it hit me suddenly.

aradlaw
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Post by aradlaw » March 21st, 2018, 6:43 pm

I've just started a dating site for chickens. It's not my normal day job. I'm just doing it to make Hens meet.

Want to play a real life version of Pac-Man?
Then go to a furniture store and try and avoid the salesrep.

Back in the day everyone owned a horse, it was the rich that had cars. Now everyone owns cars and it's the rich that have horses.
My how the stables have turned.
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!
* 3 section now open in A Wonder Book for Girls and Boys

SonOfTheExiles
Posts: 1091
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 1:14 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Post by SonOfTheExiles » March 22nd, 2018, 3:51 pm

COST OF AUTOMOBILE REPAIR
————————————————

If your car sounds like:

“ping-click-ping” - $25
“click-whine-click” - $50
“clunk-whine-clunk” - $100
“thud-clunk-thud” - $200
“clang-thud-clang” - $500
“Can’t describe it” - $1000


Chris
"Sorry, my tongue got in the way of my eye-tooth, and I couldn't see what I was saying..."
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aradlaw
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Post by aradlaw » May 13th, 2018, 6:37 pm

Have YOU had to walk 500 miles?? Were you advised to walk 500 more??
You could be entitled to compensation...Call the Pro Claimers now...
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!
* 3 section now open in A Wonder Book for Girls and Boys

SonOfTheExiles
Posts: 1091
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 1:14 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Post by SonOfTheExiles » September 3rd, 2018, 11:05 pm

What does an occasional table do when it’s not being a table?
"Sorry, my tongue got in the way of my eye-tooth, and I couldn't see what I was saying..."
_________________
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annise
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Joined: April 3rd, 2008, 3:55 am
Location: Melbourne,Australia

Post by annise » September 3rd, 2018, 11:47 pm

It becomes notable ???

kukailimoku
Posts: 262
Joined: November 5th, 2014, 2:35 pm

Post by kukailimoku » September 13th, 2018, 4:50 pm

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

The minister sat.

The song leader stood and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'"

:mrgreen:
Why yes there IS a blog about choral singing. Thanks for asking.
http://www.thewindwardchoralsociety.org/news/

ccfpcl
Posts: 195
Joined: June 13th, 2013, 7:36 am

Post by ccfpcl » Today, 6:07 am

Can't take credit for this one - heard on Radio 4 yesterday. Thought it would appeal to word lovers though..

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who was doing research on alternatives to novocaine in root canal treatment?

He was into trends in dental medication :lol:

Chris.

aradlaw
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Post by aradlaw » Today, 10:05 am

Today marks rour weeks without sugar. Running 5 miles a day...no meat, dairy, or flour. No Caffeine! The change has been fantastic! I feel great! Zero alcohol! A healthy diet. A healthy VEGAN diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 2 hour workout every day. I don't know whose status this is but I an really proud of them. So I decided to copy and paste.
_____

To the person who stole my anti-depressants... I hope your happy now!!!

____

Confucius said, "Never check the depth of water with both feet."
David Lawrence

* Weekly & Fortnightly Poetry - Check out the Short Works forum for the latest projects!
* 3 section now open in A Wonder Book for Girls and Boys

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