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Dri
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Location: Magdeburg, Germany

Post by Dri » January 24th, 2007, 8:58 am

Excerpt from Little Lord Fauntleroy:

"If any one had told me I could be fond of a child," he said, his harsh voice low and unsteady, "I should not have believed them. I always detested children—my own more than the rest. I am fond of this one; he is fond of me" (with a bitter smile)*. "I am not popular; I never was. But he is fond of me. He never was afraid of me—he always trusted me. He would have filled my place better than I have filled it. I know that. He would have been an honor to the name."

The remark is put in parentheses, however when read those remain undetectable. I think it would somehow disturb the flow of words if it were read as it was written.

Would anyone mind if e.g. the sentence were extended to:

"He said (with a bitter smile)."?

Or would you prefer to read it exactly as is?

Regards,
Igor

kri
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Post by kri » January 24th, 2007, 9:05 am

Dri wrote:Excerpt from Little Lord Fauntleroy:

"If any one had told me I could be fond of a child," he said, his harsh voice low and unsteady, "I should not have believed them. I always detested children—my own more than the rest. I am fond of this one; he is fond of me" (with a bitter smile)*. "I am not popular; I never was. But he is fond of me. He never was afraid of me—he always trusted me. He would have filled my place better than I have filled it. I know that. He would have been an honor to the name."

The remark is put in parentheses, however when read those remain undetectable. I think it would somehow disturb the flow of words if it were read as it was written.

Would anyone mind if e.g. the sentence were extended to:

"He said (with a bitter smile)."?

Or would you prefer to read it exactly as is?

Regards,
Igor
Except for minor mistakes and transpositions of words, you really should read the text as is. If you need to, try to read "(with a bitter smile)" more narratively so it sounds a bit different from the dialogue. We've had similar questions about changing the text in the past - admittedly asking to change offensive stuff - and the answer is that we're not here to editorialize the works that we're reading.

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Post by hugh » January 24th, 2007, 9:14 am

i agree with kri... I think with a drop in octave and intonation you can convey that the bitter smile is a comment on the dialog, not dialog itself.

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Post by kayray » January 24th, 2007, 9:26 am

Yup, lower your voice a little for the parenthetical remark, and don't worry about it. It'll be fine.
Kara
http://kayray.org/
--------
"Mary wished to say something very sensible into her Zoom H2 Handy Recorder, but knew not how." -- Jane Austen (& Kara)

Dri
Posts: 97
Joined: January 11th, 2007, 4:00 am
Location: Magdeburg, Germany

Post by Dri » January 24th, 2007, 10:03 am

kayray wrote:Yup, lower your voice a little for the parenthetical remark, and don't worry about it. It'll be fine.
Thank you to all for the advice. I'll try the original. :)

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