[OPEN][Group/comic essays] Hints to Pilgrims by Charles S. Brooks - kit

Short Poetry Collections, Short Story Collections, and our Weekly Poetry Project
NurseBob
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Post by NurseBob » October 14th, 2018, 11:12 am

>we're not saying this for nothing
Oh well, I was the kid who always wanted to assemble his models before painting... FWIW, as both a software engineer and a nurse, I believed in reading manuals/texts, but often when I ran into problems (well, not true for the ICU, there I did read/plan/learn first, then proceeded)

Thanks for your patience! I'll update the thread as appropriate. And will go back to the MW to update the Ready for PL flag.
All things considered, this is still easier than coding in C or assembler...

I'm looking forward to the remaining experience(s).

Bob
"We take each breath as if it is our last, and hope that the air is sweet."

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » October 14th, 2018, 11:14 am

NurseBob wrote:
October 14th, 2018, 11:12 am
Thanks for your patience! I'll update the thread as appropriate. And will go back to the MW to update the Ready for PL flag.
All things considered, this is still easier than coding in C or assembler...
I'm looking forward to the remaining experience(s).
I think you're doing fine :thumbs: no worries and never hesitate to ask. It will often save much time asking immediately than later correcting things.

Sonia

NurseBob
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Post by NurseBob » October 14th, 2018, 11:18 am

>never hesitate to ask. It will often save much time
Honestly, I've never completely understood the hesitation to ask questions. I realize some fear having others find out they don't "know" something. But I find asking is better than fixing... As you note, fixing can often be far more time-consuming.
"We take each breath as if it is our last, and hope that the air is sweet."

NurseBob
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Post by NurseBob » October 14th, 2018, 11:20 am

Chapter 1 is ready for PL, recording time: 28:32
Feedback welcomed.

Bob
Last edited by NurseBob on October 14th, 2018, 11:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
"We take each breath as if it is our last, and hope that the air is sweet."

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » October 14th, 2018, 11:21 am

yes we don't have a DPL yet (dedicated prooflistener) so I put a ~mark in your title to attract a potential volunteer. We will be hovering for a day or two in the launch pad to see if we can find one.

Patience

Sonia

NurseBob
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Post by NurseBob » October 14th, 2018, 11:25 am

I had read earlier in another post about the tilde. As the saying goes, "Patience is a virtue."
Now that things are in place, I can focus on other tasks, and check-in here on a regular basis. I've also set up an email notification when there are updates to the thread.
So, time to check the progess of my sourdough starter. :)

Bob
"We take each breath as if it is our last, and hope that the air is sweet."

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » October 14th, 2018, 11:10 pm

I am tempted to claim the DPL role myself....I really enjoyed Brooks' stage plays and his style so I'm hoping this one will be just as good.

I put myself up for the job. That means, the team is complete and we move over to going solo. I still have a bit of a backlog in PL works, but I try to give you feedback as soon as possible.

Sonia

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » October 15th, 2018, 5:38 am

so, your waiting is at an end, I took some time and listened to the first section.

The style is so totally like I remember from his stage plays :lol: I could well imagine this could be a prelude to a "frightful comedy of pilgrims". Wish he had written it, I would have liked to stage that one as well.

I enjoyed your narrative immensely, you have this tongue-in-cheek way of reading that fits absolutely to the funny text. One of my favourite sentences: "Indeed, I looked sharply at my ample waiter on the chance that it was he who had taken his ease upon my bread." :mrgreen: the thought !

So, textually it was nearly word perfect. I would only recommend two small corrections (or maybe three):

> at 0:01: “Chapter 1 "Hints to Pilgrims" of Hints to Pilgrims” - You can cut out the surplus title name, the number is enough at that spot. The title will be only said at the end of the intro and before you launch the text proper.
I believe that’s what I also told you in my previous comment if you recall this post: ;) viewtopic.php?p=1514937#p1514937

> at 2:27: “to the misty country beyond the hills” – you say “below the hills” which is not quite the same, but probably negligible. I only mention it now, since I am unsure how picky you want me to be, if we could clear this up from the start

> at 28:25: likewise, in the end disclaimer, “End of chapter 1” is enough, no need to repeat the title again

that's it, the rest was even word-perfect :clap:

Now for your corrections, these are easily done, only some cuts and maybe re-recording one sentence. No need to re-record it all.
I am guessing, you did not intend to do that anyway, but I am cautious now, since I had many new readers who, for only one single error, re-recorded the whole chapter, and this was so much unnecessary work, both for them and for me. :? Now I prefer to be safe than sorry. :lol:

Looking forward to the next chapter. :9: Please note that from second chapter onwards you can use the abbreviated disclaimer, see details underneath the MW.

Sonia

NurseBob
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Post by NurseBob » October 16th, 2018, 1:18 am

Thank you for the review and comments. All are greatly appreciated!
Sorry for my delay. I live in an area in Napa, California that was again at risk for wildfire. Not wanting to risk a repeat of last year's horrific disaster, the power company turned the power off some 30 hours ago. I had the opportunity to do A LOT of reading, by headlamp (I've been working my way through all the volumes of Outlander).

I promise I won't re-record the whole piece to repair the one word, but I will fix it tomorrow (Ok, later today, it's 01:10 as I write this).
Thank you for the feedback on my interpretation, I've been concerned. My wife, an English teacher, agreed with you, but just the same I had some anxiety.
I understand appreciate all the effort on your side as well.
I'm looking forward to the rest of the project and honing my skills; it's been some time since I did any "real" performance work. Lecturing in the classroom, and working with student nurses in the hospital is a form of performance, but not the same as dramatic effort. I appreciate your confidence-boosting comments.

Bob
"We take each breath as if it is our last, and hope that the air is sweet."

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » October 16th, 2018, 1:28 am

NurseBob wrote:
October 16th, 2018, 1:18 am
Sorry for my delay. I live in an area in Napa, California that was again at risk for wildfire. Not wanting to risk a repeat of last year's horrific disaster, the power company turned the power off some 30 hours ago.
oops, hopefully you are not in the line of fire.
I promise I won't re-record the whole piece to repair the one word
:lol: yes I had a hunch you wouldn't but still...experience taught me to be cautious
Thank you for the feedback on my interpretation, I've been concerned. My wife, an English teacher, agreed with you, but just the same I had some anxiety.
it's totally normal to feel apprehension and doubt at a first recording. You should have seen my first efforts. I was blushing from embarrassment even though I was totally alone in the room. Just the thought that later on "the world" will hear what I recorded made me cringe. I recorded poems first and feared I would sound silly when trying to be emotional and expressive.

This feeling will go away with time. Starting to work in our drama group helped me over it all. Now I don't fear showing my feelings in a recording. You will feel more at ease with the sound of your voice in playback as well if you start listening to it more often. At the beginning I didn't even think it sounded like me. :lol:
I'm looking forward to the rest of the project and honing my skills; it's been some time since I did any "real" performance work. Lecturing in the classroom, and working with student nurses in the hospital is a form of performance, but not the same as dramatic effort
I am ini high hopes that you will venture over to help out bring some dramas to a close one day soon :9: I would have suggestions for you if ever you are ready to join the crazy gang :mrgreen:

Sonia

NurseBob
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Post by NurseBob » October 16th, 2018, 9:36 am

I am ini high hopes that you will venture over to help out bring some dramas to a close one day soon :9: I would have suggestions for you if ever you are ready to join the crazy gang :mrgreen:
Crazy gangs are my game! :thumbs:

Let me get a somewhat better handle on time commitments before I dive in to the deep end. But I do plan to take you up on the offer!

Bob
"We take each breath as if it is our last, and hope that the air is sweet."

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » October 16th, 2018, 11:31 am

NurseBob wrote:
October 16th, 2018, 9:36 am
Let me get a somewhat better handle on time commitments before I dive in to the deep end. But I do plan to take you up on the offer!
take your time, I'll be ready :mrgreen:

I guess once your solo is done and dusted, you will want to venture out to new shores.

Sonia

NurseBob
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Post by NurseBob » October 16th, 2018, 1:28 pm

once your solo is done and dusted, you will want to venture out to new shores.
A reasonable assumption!
"We take each breath as if it is our last, and hope that the air is sweet."

NurseBob
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Post by NurseBob » October 18th, 2018, 12:46 pm

> at 2:27: I am unsure how picky you want me to be, if we could clear this up from the start
Picky is fine; "word perfect" is my goal. :D
I have made the necessary edits. So, do I upload with the same filename? Or add a subscript... :?

I plan to tackle Chap 2 later next week. I'm heading out for one last camping/photo trip on Sunday and plan to return by Wednesday. In the interim I'm prepping for the trip and attending to other household tasks... (I've found keeping my wife happy is a good thing! :clap: )
"We take each breath as if it is our last, and hope that the air is sweet."

Kitty
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Post by Kitty » October 18th, 2018, 1:07 pm

NurseBob wrote:
October 18th, 2018, 12:46 pm
Picky is fine; "word perfect" is my goal. :D
oh seriously, good to know. I check with the text anyway, so I'll flag anything and you can decide if it's worth correcting or not.
I have made the necessary edits. So, do I upload with the same filename? Or add a subscript... :?
yes always the same filename for corrections. The new file will then replace the old file in the MW.

thanks

Sonia

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