Very well read, I like your different voices for the different characters!
There were some weird noises off and on throughout, I couldn’t tell if they were background noises from bumping or moving your setup somehow, or if it was static or something within the recording itself. It was most noticeable at the time stamps below:
I’m not sure if there is a way to edit out the noises or if you will need to re-record those bits and edit them in. For help in editing, if you need it, check out the Guide for Newbies linked in the first post, or if you need more help, you can try asking on the “Need help? got advice?” Board here on the forums.
Also, you need to leave 5 seconds of silence at the end of your recording. You are off to a good start though, look forward to hearing more from you!