what a treat, it was a great story and we all sound so great assembled together. I feel strange being the grandmother of all this troupe
And I still am no closer to making up my mind what really happened that night, although I do favour one version...
I have a few suggestions for corrections, Bhavya. All throughout, especially in the beginning, I felt that you made the pauses too long between each speech. No in the end it was much better in the dialogue with the disagreeable young man and grandma, but the beginning has some lengths. I finally noted down some pauses which really are breaking the flow too long, as suggestion for improvement. Another problem was the merging of voices. You have to be careful with merged voices, they have a tendency to be too loud in the end
Here are my notes (best start from the end, then the time-stamps will remain the same
)
>
from 4:56-5:00: "But admit that to-day there is reason enough for every kind of jollity." - this part is way
too loud (at least 8 dB) and extremely clipping and therefore distorting the sound. I would suggest you take the original file once more and adjust the volume so it's a bit the same than the others, maybe it doesn't clip then. I don't think there was clipping in TJ's original file. I don't know why this only happened with this line though
If you are using Audacity to edit, you should immediately see how different this part looks from the rest.
>
at 7:28: missing line: "
Yes, you did." from the Polite young man. You immediately started merging them all, but he actually said it alone in repartee first. I would suggest, you
really interrupt the disagreeable young man, and
don't make a long pause here
>
at 7:28-7:32: "You said that. Yes, you said that." - also here I would
decrease the volume a little bit. It's also a bit difficult to understand with the merging of so many voices.
>
at 8:31: there is a
stray "shut up" that comes after the merging, I think this would better be
cut out
>
at 8:33-8:37: "Indeed. He's right. Stop—shut up" - again a bit too loud, I would
decrease volume by -4 dB, then it's more agreeable to listen to
>
at 11:46-11:50: "Yes, yes, that's right,—the story of how you got lost." - again, a
few dB less would be better on my ears
>
at 17:30-17:34: "
THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL [frightened]. Merciful God!" - for dramatic effect, you can
cut out the stage directions here. Devorah sounds frightened enough and if you patch it quite close to grandma's last sentence, it will sound much more fluent
>
at 19:10-19:13: "
THE VIVACIOUS GIRL [breathlessly]. What did you do, grandma?" - also here the
narrator can be cut out, the voice conveys it well
>
at 22:02-22:05: "
THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL [horrified]. Merciful heaven!" - same here,
narrator can get cut out, then the suspenseful scene is not so artificially interrupted
>
at 22:19-22:21: after "I cried out" - this break sounds a bit
uncomfortably long, I would cut this down to 1 second. The scene is already interrupted by the narrator anyway
>
at 25:47-25:49: after "and I know that they are stupid." - the
pause is again too long. Everything over 2 seconds feels very long for a listener, especially here in a dramatic play
>
at 28:01-28:03: after "I have already told you that...." - here
grandma should really interrupt the sentence, this huge pause breaks the flow signifiicantly, especially since the sentence was interrupted abruptly by her. This needs to be reflected here or it will sound strange
>
at 31:14-31:17: "
GRANDMOTHER [involuntarily]. Not that long...." -
narrator can be cut out, and the pause shortened a bit
thank you
Sonia
wow that was a powerful scene. Your horror is really palpable there.
I loved being Mrs Templeton. Got me to be bossing everyone around and telling them to shut up 
I hope the performance is to your liking.
yes she is quite a multiple personality. Very interesting to play.