[COMPLETE]If I Had a Father, by George MacDonald - kit

HannahMary · Post by **HannahMary** » April 14th, 2018, 12:26 pm

mightyfelix wrote: ↑April 14th, 2018, 9:41 am Constance is perfectly PL ok! Thanks so much, Hannah! You really played her to perfection!

Oh, thanks! I was a bit unsure of myself as her character/personality is rather "thin" (due to it just being a short play, no doubt.) It was interesting to see this different style from George MacDonald. I can see similarities to his novels, but heavy on the drama and short on the faith. Again... trying to fit a popular style? It seems he was mainly trying to create a yearning for true, loving fathers who ultimately point to the Heavenly Father so clear in his novels.

Enjoy your editing, Devorah!

Post by **mightyfelix** » April 14th, 2018, 1:18 pm

HannahMary wrote: ↑April 14th, 2018, 12:26 pm
mightyfelix wrote: ↑April 14th, 2018, 9:41 am Constance is perfectly PL ok! Thanks so much, Hannah! You really played her to perfection!
Oh, thanks! I was a bit unsure of myself as her character/personality is rather "thin" (due to it just being a short play, no doubt.) It was interesting to see this different style from George MacDonald. I can see similarities to his novels, but heavy on the drama and short on the faith. Again... trying to fit a popular style? It seems he was mainly trying to create a yearning for true, loving fathers who ultimately point to the Heavenly Father so clear in his novels.

Enjoy your editing, Devorah!

I agree! Yeah, I think he definitely was trying to elevate idea of Fatherhood, which he does so often in his novels. One of his most characteristic techniques in the novels is to have the narrator suddenly break in with a deep musing on the situation of the characters and how it applies to the human situation in general. But I don't see that working on stage!

Post by **mightyfelix** » April 14th, 2018, 9:57 pm

OK, Sonia. Act 1 is ready for PL. I won't say final PL, because I'm still missing the voice credit for the second boy from Act 2. I've inserted my own voice to mark the spot where that credit will be. But everything else should be good. Especially let me know if you think the balance of the volume between the parts needs to be adjusted.

Post by **Kitty** » April 15th, 2018, 12:00 pm

mightyfelix wrote: ↑April 14th, 2018, 9:57 pm OK, Sonia. Act 1 is ready for PL. I won't say final PL, because I'm still missing the voice credit for the second boy from Act 2. I've inserted my own voice to mark the spot where that credit will be. But everything else should be good. Especially let me know if you think the balance of the volume between the parts needs to be adjusted.

sorry, I didn't have time today for PL, but will do so tomorrow first thing. Yes it will not be PL ok yet, since the voice credits are not complete. You could have started with Act 3

that one was complete.

Nevermind, I'll let you know tomorrow. Great job. We're so close now !

Sonia

Post by **mightyfelix** » April 15th, 2018, 9:25 pm

Act 3 is ready for PL.

I think I did something funky to the volume on bits of this.

I started noticing that some of the lines had a strange fading-in effect that was really off-putting. I'm not sure what I did, really, except for some compression, but I've never had compression act that way.

Anyway, those that I noticed I was able to patch over with the original lines that I still have saved, but if you notice anything like that that I didn't catch, please tell me.

Post by **Kitty** » April 16th, 2018, 2:22 am

All right, I had some time to listen to Act 1 now. Technically all sounds well, the spaces are well placed, the sound is good. Excellent editing job there

I am a bit puzzled by the plot though, I don't get at all why Arthur is behaving so madly and raving

Well, I have a few minor notes:

> at 0:17: you did not mention “Dramatis Personae” at the beginning of the voice credits, but I suppose it’s optional

> at 12:48: Col. G. He may have been out in the morning (aside).— either you mention “Col. Gervaise, aside” before the sentence or you leave it out altogether, but putting it behind the sentence doesn’t really make sense

> at 45:55: “I will not.” – sentence repeated, maybe you only wanted to leave the more insistent version in ?

Apart from that, only the missing voice credit for the final streetboy, which hopefully will come in soon.

Sonia

SonOfTheExiles · Post by **SonOfTheExiles** » April 16th, 2018, 2:47 am

“I am a bit puzzled by the plot though, I don't get at all why Arthur is behaving so madly and raving.”

As the villain Waterfield, can I just say, don’t you hate it when the hero out-psycho’s you?

Chris

Post by **Kitty** » April 16th, 2018, 6:50 am

mightyfelix wrote: ↑April 15th, 2018, 9:25 pm Act 3 is ready for PL.
I think I did something funky to the volume on bits of this. I started noticing that some of the lines had a strange fading-in effect that was really off-putting. I'm not sure what I did, really, except for some compression, but I've never had compression act that way. Anyway, those that I noticed I was able to patch over with the original lines that I still have saved, but if you notice anything like that that I didn't catch, please tell me.

Act 3 to me is perfectly PL ok.

If you did mess up the sound somehow at least you managed to correct it, I didn't hear anything disturbing. We all sound good together. I liked the little merging you make at one point, where Colonel Gervaise is cutting off Susan's speech. Nice touch.

Great job !

Sonia

sacciotto · Post by **sacciotto** » April 16th, 2018, 6:27 pm

https://librivox.org/uploads/kitty/ifihadafather_secondboy_02_128kb.mp3
DURATION: 47 seconds

Hello!

Here's one of my two boys (the SECOND one). I finally had a break to read this role. The fourth one is on his way...

sacciotto · Post by **sacciotto** » April 16th, 2018, 6:29 pm

https://librivox.org/uploads/kitty/ifihadafather_fourthboy_02_128kb.mp3
DURATION: 30 seconds

The fourth boy just arrived!

Post by **mightyfelix** » April 17th, 2018, 7:32 am

Kitty wrote: ↑April 16th, 2018, 2:22 am All right, I had some time to listen to Act 1 now. Technically all sounds well, the spaces are well placed, the sound is good. Excellent editing job there

I am a bit puzzled by the plot though, I don't get at all why Arthur is behaving so madly and raving

Well, he has only just realized that he loves Constance, only to immediately discover that she's engaged to that awful cad, Waterfield.

I mean, that's enough to drive any man mad, am I right?

Well, I have a few minor notes:

> at 0:17: you did not mention “Dramatis Personae” at the beginning of the voice credits, but I suppose it’s optional

I wasn't quite sure how to handle that, because there is no Dramatis Personae or character list of any kind in the text we have. It just begins straight in with the action. So, since there wasn't a "Dramatis Personae" in the text, I didn't ask Raj to say one.

> at 12:48: Col. G. He may have been out in the morning (aside).— either you mention “Col. Gervaise, aside” before the sentence or you leave it out altogether, but putting it behind the sentence doesn’t really make sense

I wasn't sure if that would work or not. Again, blame it on the text, which has the "aside" after the sentence. Anyway, I've fixed it.

> at 45:55: “I will not.” – sentence repeated, maybe you only wanted to leave the more insistent version in ?

Whoops, I didn't read carefully enough. I actually thought that line was supposed to be repeated! Fixed!

Apart from that, only the missing voice credit for the final streetboy, which hopefully will come in soon.

Sonia

Got it! Act 1 should be completely ready now!

Post by **mightyfelix** » April 17th, 2018, 7:40 am

sacciotto wrote: ↑April 16th, 2018, 6:29 pm https://librivox.org/uploads/kitty/ifihadafather_fourthboy_02_128kb.mp3
DURATION: 30 seconds

The fourth boy just arrived!

Thank you so much! I am still missing this section from you, though, which is scripted for "All boys, together":

Go along, Daddy-devil! Pick yer own bones, an'
ha' done.

Bag-raker!
Skin-cat!
Bag o' nails!
Scull-an'-cross-bones!

Old Daddy Longlegs wouldn't say his prayers—
Take him by his left leg, and throw him downstairs.

Go along! Go to hell!
We'll skin you.
Melt ye down for taller, we will.
Only he 'ain't got none, the red herrin'!

Also, it's optional, but rather than saying, "Boo hoo!" at the end of the fourth boy's last line, do you think you could maybe give a little fake crying noise there or something?

Just make both of these edits in the file for fourth boy, if you please. I only need one version of the "bag-raker, skin-cat" bit, so you don't need to add one for each of them.

Post by **Kitty** » April 17th, 2018, 9:24 am

Well, he has only just realized that he loves Constance, only to immediately discover that she's engaged to that awful cad, Waterfield. I mean, that's enough to drive any man mad, am I right?

not to such an extent I would say.

I think the "driving mad" would only be a metaphor, but this guy is really losing it

I think he already had issues before

I wasn't quite sure how to handle that, because there is no Dramatis Personae or character list of any kind in the text we have. It just begins straight in with the action. So, since there wasn't a "Dramatis Personae" in the text, I didn't ask Raj to say one.

yes ok, I guess it's optional, one knows anyway what's up when people start giving their voice credits.

Got it! Act 1 should be completely ready now!

yes everything nicely patched. Just one question:

> at 1:12: "Second boy read by Adriana Sacciotto". You could maybe say "Second Boy, Fourth Boy" or did you simply merge them into one ?

I'm fine with it, it probably doesn't matter how many street urchins there are. Just mentioning it in case you forgot and wanted to have them both.

I can mark it PL ok.

Sonia

Post by **mightyfelix** » April 17th, 2018, 9:28 am

Kitty wrote: ↑April 17th, 2018, 9:24 am
not to such an extent I would say. I think the "driving mad" would only be a metaphor, but this guy is really losing it I think he already had issues before

I couldn't agree more!

> at 1:12: "Second boy read by Adriana Sacciotto". You could maybe say "Second Boy, Fourth Boy" or did you simply merge them into one ? I'm fine with it, it probably doesn't matter how many street urchins there are. Just mentioning it in case you forgot and wanted to have them both.

No, I just combined them into one.

I'm working on the rest now. I hope to have this all done within a few days.

Post by **Kitty** » April 17th, 2018, 9:29 am

mightyfelix wrote: ↑April 17th, 2018, 9:28 am I'm working on the rest now. I hope to have this all done within a few days.

great looking forward to the rest. Please don't post both acts at the same time, so I can have a break in between PLing.

Sonia