by James T. Fields (1817 – 1881)
All audio files can be found on our catalog page: http://librivox.org/the-owl-critic-by-james-t-fields/
Each fortnight a poem is chosen to be recorded by as many LibriVox volunteers as possible!James Thomas Fields (December 31, 1817 – April 24, 1881) was an American publisher, editor, and poet. At the age of 14, Fields took a job at the Old Corner Bookstore in Boston. His first published poetry was included in the Portsmouth Journal in 1837 but he drew more attention when, on September 13, 1838, he delivered his "Anniversary Poem" to the Boston Mercantile Library Association. (summary from Wikipedia)
This fortnight’s poem can be found here.
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Bit Rate: 128 kbps
Sample Rate: 44100 kHz
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Begin your reading with the abbreviated LibriVox disclaimer:
(Please leave no more than 0.5-1 second of silence at the beginning of your recording!)
Then read the poem:The Owl Critic by James T. Fields [read for LibriVox.org by [your name].
[Add, if you wish, date, your location, and/or your personal url.]
At the end of your reading, leave a space and then say:"WHO stuffed that white owl?" No one spoke in the shop:
The barber was busy, and he couldn't stop;
The customers, waiting their turns, were all reading
The "Daily," the "Herald," the "Post," little heeding
The young man who blurted out such a blunt question;
Not one raised a head, or even made a suggestion;
And the barber kept on shaving.
"Don't you see, Mister Brown,"
Cried the youth, with a frown,
"How wrong the whole thing is,
How preposterous each wing is,
How flattened the head is, how jammed down the neck is--
In short, the whole owl, what an ignorant wreck 't is!
I make no apology;
I've learned owl-eology.
I've passed days and nights in a hundred collections,
And cannot be blinded to any deflections
Arising from unskilful fingers that fail
To stuff a bird right, from his beak to his tail.
Mister Brown! Mister Brown!
Do take that bird down,
Or you'll soon be the laughing-stock all over town!"
And the barber kept on shaving.
"I've studied owls,
And other night fowls,
And I tell you
What I know to be true:
An owl cannot roost
With his limbs so unloosed;
No owl in this world
Ever had his claws curled,
Ever had his legs slanted,
Ever had his bill canted,
Ever had his neck screwed
Into that attitude.
He can't do it, because
'T is against all bird-laws.
Anatomy teaches,
Ornithology preaches
An owl has a toe
That can't turn out so!
I've made the white owl my study for years,
And to see such a job almost moves me to tears!
Mister Brown, I'm amazed
You should be so gone crazed
As to put up a bird
In that posture absurd!
To look at that owl really brings on a dizziness;
The man who stuffed him don't half know his business!"
And the barber kept on shaving.
"Examine those eyes.
I'm filled with surprise
Taxidermists should pass
Off on you such poor glass;
So unnatural they seem
They'd make Audubon scream,
And John Burroughs laugh
To encounter such chaff.
Do take that bird down;
Have him stuffed again, Brown!"
And the barber kept on shaving.
"With some sawdust and bark
I could stuff in the dark
An owl better than that.
I could make an old hat
Look more like an owl
Than that horrid fowl,
Stuck up there so stiff like a side of coarse leather.
In fact, about him there's not one natural feather."
Just then, with a wink and a sly normal lurch,
The owl, very gravely, got down from his perch,
Walked round, and regarded his fault-finding critic
(Who thought he was stuffed) with a glance analytic,
And then fairly hooted, as if he should say:
"Your learning's at fault this time, any way;
Don't waste it again on a live bird, I pray.
I'm an owl; you're another. Sir Critic, good-day!"
And the barber kept on shaving.
Please leave 5 seconds of silence at the end of your recording.End of poem. This recording is in the public domain.
Save your recording as an mp3 file using the following filename and ID3 tag format:
File name - all in lowercase: owlcritic_fields_your initials in lowercase.mp3 (eg. owlcritic_fields_klh.mp3)
ID3 tags (Version 2):
Artist: James T. Fields
Title: The Owl Critic - Read by YOUR INITIALS (eg. The Owl Critic - Read by KLH)
Album: LibriVox Fortnightly Poetry
Comments: (optional) Recorded by [your name]
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If you wish to contribute, please have your readings submitted by 0600 GMT Sunday, April 17, 2011(12:00am CDT)
Magic Window:
BC Admin
(And remember, anyone can suggest a poem for a certain week and/or coordinate an upcoming fortnightly poem! If you'd like to suggest a poem or coordinate a future Poetry project, please visit this thread.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_T._Fields
http://theotherpages.org/poems/fields01.html#2
No rhymes from me. 
How unlucky! Don't bully me