[COMPLETE] Le Paradise Perdu de Milton (Chateaubriand) - ava

Solo or group recordings that are finished and fully available for listeners
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chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

I'll get to work on the corrections in a bit. Meanwhile, though, I just want to congratulate myself in that the two first misreadings (of "t" as "l") are actually scanning errors in the text I sometimes use. The correct text is not searchable, and its pages are all images, rather less easy to read than a true digital text that can be searched: <http://www.samizdat.qc.ca/arts/lit/Paradis_perdu.pdf>. The editor of that document has asked me to hold all corrections until I can deliver the whole bunch at once, so I am keeping careful track. The number of pages has reached 23.

Tom
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Post by Kitty »

chymocles wrote:I'll get to work on the corrections in a bit. Meanwhile, though, I just want to congratulate myself in that the two first misreadings (of "t" as "l") are actually scanning errors in the text I sometimes use. The correct text is not searchable, and its pages are all images, rather less easy to read than a true digital text that can be searched: <http://www.samizdat.qc.ca/arts/lit/Paradis_perdu.pdf>. The editor of that document has asked me to hold all corrections until I can deliver the whole bunch at once, so I am keeping careful track. The number of pages has reached 23.

Tom
I have checked the text that you mention in this post. There must be have been a typo in the original then which has been corrected later on.

I cannot guarantee for "te finir", but in my opinion it makes more sense in the context that he would say, that God would finish HIM (= Lucifer) and his army. "finishing IT" doesn't make sense because there is nothing in the preceding sentence which this "it" would refer to.

And the second is definitely wrong because it's grammatically wrong to say "de les compagnons", it should be "des compagnons". So here I am quite sure it was a typo and it would mean "de tes compagnons" which also makes sense in the context.

Just my opinion but I seriously think it should be the way I corrected them (especially the second, with the first it's arguable). But you do as you wish.

Sonia
chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

I made the corrections and cleaned up the background noise. I'm sorry to have saved that for last. Otherwise, I have to do it twice: before you hear it and after I change it in response to your comments, since the corrections must be put into the un-cleaned version in order to be cleaned themselves. I also gave a little reverberation to the voices of God and the angels in heaven—so they would sound at least out of doors.

Tom
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Post by Kitty »

chymocles wrote:I made the corrections and cleaned up the background noise. I'm sorry to have saved that for last. Otherwise, I have to do it twice: before you hear it and after I change it in response to your comments, since the corrections must be put into the un-cleaned version in order to be cleaned themselves. I also gave a little reverberation to the voices of God and the angels in heaven—so they would sound at least out of doors.
it's all perfect now :thumbs: thanks Tom. As always, flawlessly corrected.

Sonia
chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

I have been very busy until now. My two-year project of adapting a novel by H. G. Wells and then directing the result has at last come to a successful end, and my father has at last succumbed, at age 98, to mortality. I have uploaded the second half of Book 6. You will find it at https://librivox.org/uploads/availle/paradisperdu_10_milton_128kb.mp3. There is a clearly printed misprint in the text: "moins" for "mais." I have recorded it as written, but I will consult the editor of the other digital version (http://www.samizdat.qc.ca/arts/lit/Paradis_perdu.pdf) to see what he thinks about it. I have a ton of corrections for him.
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Post by Kitty »

I'm sorry to hear about your dad :( my condolences.

As for Paradise Lost, I probably get around PLing it tomorrow, for tonight I am on a tighter schedule, and still busy PLing a stage play.

All the best

Sonia
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Post by Kitty »

chymocles wrote:There is a clearly printed misprint in the text: "moins" for "mais."
I did not notice this misprint, in what sentence was it ? :hmm:

Finished listening to the next section now.
In my opinion the audio tone has much improved, are you using a new microphone ?
Also the slight reverbation of the voices is a nice touch. Sounds very good. :thumbs:

A few notes which you might want to change here though:

> over 3 seconds of silence at the beginning – needs to be trimmed down to 0.5-1 seconds
> at 6:13: d’une écume spiritueuse – you say: équime spirituse
> at 13:07: ainsi se ralliant – you say: se raillant
> at 17:51: dans une veine de gaieté – you say: ga-été instead of gai-eté
> at 22:26: je les fis égaux – you say: les ai fis, which is gramatically wrong
> at 24:02: le plus puissant – you say: tout puissant
> at 27:54: sur leurs têtes est un firmament: no liaison between "têtes" et "est", sounds like "c’est"
> at 29:13: le grand étendard – you say: étarnard
> at 30:21: à quoi servent les prodiges – you say: prodigues
> at 32:38: afin qu’ils aient ce qu’ils souhaitent – you say: souhaitaient
> at 33:36: des grandes eaux – you say: grands eaux, but eaux is female gender
> at 34:28: ils souhaitent – again: souhaitaient
> at 37:10: et se referma – you say: renferma

Sonia
chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

I'll check the notes. The only one that surprises me is that "renferma" for "reform," since I took some trouble to correct that, or so I thought. The misprint is in the phrase "char non tiré moins animé d’un esprit.” Clearly the English intends a distinction between exterior and interior motive force: "forth rush'd with whirlwind sound / The Chariot of Paternal Deitie, / Flashing thick flames, Wheele within Wheele undrawn, / It self instinct with Spirit. . . ." I sent this to the editor along with several other misprints, and although he specifically approved of correcting the other two, he made no comment on this one. It may as well stay.

Right now I must deal with a bounced check.

Cheers.
chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

All fixed! (And it turns out I am still solvent after all.)

Sorry about the "silence." I put up front all especially noticeable background noises while I am recording. Then I have a record to provide a "noise print" when I reduce the noise at the end of the process. It's gone now, and the noise with it.

https://librivox.org/uploads/availle/paradisperdu_10_milton_128kb.mp3

Tom
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Post by Kitty »

chymocles wrote:Sorry about the "silence." I put up front all especially noticeable background noises while I am recording. Then I have a record to provide a "noise print" when I reduce the noise at the end of the process. It's gone now, and the noise with it.
I do that as well, only I put the room silence at the end of my recording :)

your section 10 is perfectly edited, as always. PL ok.

I am highly puzzled though. Even though you shortened the intro silence, the time stamps for the corrections are at the exact same spot. How come they are not about 2 seconds earlier than what I noted down ? I was going under that logical assumption and had a hard time finding the first correction until I noticed it was at the same time. :hmm: This is against all logic.

Sonia
chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

I agree. I was even tempted to warn you and tell you the exact time of the deleted "silence," but I thought you could figure out the discrepancy. I haven't the foggiest idea why there is no discrepancy.

As always, I appreciate the promptness of your response. An now onward for two books about creation: a little healing before everything goes to hell.

Tom
chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

I'm working on Book 7 now, and I have a question about pronunciation. This is the sentence: "Car, ainsi que la terre, Dieu bâtit le monde sur les eaux calmes circonfluentes, dans un large océan de cristal, et fort éloigné du bruyant désordre du chaos, de peur que ses rudes extrémités contiguës ne dérangeassent la structure entière de ce mondé." I have looked up "contiguë" in Forvo and in howtopronounce.com, but the latter lists only "contigue" (without the dieresis), while in the former, though it lists the word with the spelling found in the text, the pronouncer does not pronounce the "e," and I thought that the whole purpose of the diacritical mark was to insist that the letter be sounded. Any thoughts?

Tom
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Post by Kitty »

chymocles wrote:I'm working on Book 7 now, and I have a question about pronunciation. This is the sentence: "Car, ainsi que la terre, Dieu bâtit le monde sur les eaux calmes circonfluentes, dans un large océan de cristal, et fort éloigné du bruyant désordre du chaos, de peur que ses rudes extrémités contiguës ne dérangeassent la structure entière de ce mondé." I have looked up "contiguë" in Forvo and in howtopronounce.com, but the latter lists only "contigue" (without the dieresis), while in the former, though it lists the word with the spelling found in the text, the pronouncer does not pronounce the "e," and I thought that the whole purpose of the diacritical mark was to insist that the letter be sounded. Any thoughts?
Tom
ah yes, I actually know the answer to this one :) this must be an old spelling, because today one would write this word "contigüe" with the trema on the u. Since this is an old text, back then they had it on the e.

This is the feminine version of the word "contigu". Since it's feminine, it needs an 'e' at the end.

But: the three letters "gue" naturally would be pronounced simply /g/ with a slight /e/, like for example "langue".

Since here it has to be clear that the 'u' in the middle should be pronounced and is not only there so that the 'g' is read /g/ instead of /j/, they needed to show this in the typography, hence the trema on the u (or in the old spelling on the e).

You have that also in the feminine word "ambigüe" - if the trema was NOT there, you would not have pronounced the 'u' I am sure, /am-bi-ge/ like "langue". Which is wrong, it should be /am-bi-gu/

Did this make sense to you ?

So to answer your question, yes it should be pronounced /con-ti-gu/ without the e.

Sonia
chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

Not only does it seem sensible, but it is very clearly explained. Thanks!

Tom
chymocles
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Post by chymocles »

I have uploaded the first half of Book 7. I was delighted with the translator's appreciation and imitation of Milton's sound effects in describing the emergence of the mountains and especially the sinking of the valleys and seas. Such matters are so language-specific that they are almost as difficult as the ambiguous wordplay in Book 6 where the devils taunt the good angels after firing on them with their guns. I wasn't even certain Chateaubriand would hear what Milton was doing, let alone be able to reproduce it. I also had fun with the humor. People complain that Milton never includes any humor except in saying there was no fear lest dinner cool while they are chatting, but actually there is plenty of humor, though rather dry. Adam invents several rather far-fetched arguments to get his heavenly guest to linger and tell him more, and after his most extravagant argument, he suddenly plunges into common sense to wind up, so I had him laugh a little there, as if at his own absurdity. I also had the angel laugh slightly in comparing learning too much to eating so much that you get gas. Raphael is really a very down-to-earth guy. Heck, he actually eats with a keen appetite! Biblical scholars spilled far too much ink arguing how angels might feign to eat but as spirits were above that sort of thing really. "Says you!" Milton answered. I love Raphael.

https://librivox.org/uploads/availle/paradisperdu_11_milton_128kb.mp3
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