Humorous Hits and How to Hold an Audience by Grenville Kleiser

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InTheDesert
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Contents
INTRODUCTORY v
PART I—HOW TO HOLD AN AUDIENCE
The Voice 4
The Breath 6
Modulation 8
Pausing 10
Feeling and Energy 11
Gesture and Action 12
Impersonation 13
Articulation and Pronunciation 13
Imagination 14
How to Memorize a Selection 16
Before the Audience 18
PART II—HUMOROUS HITS
The Train-misser James Whitcomb Riley 23
The Elocutionist's Curfew W. D. Nesbit 24
Melpomenus Jones Stephen Leacock 25
Her Fifteen Minutes Tom Masson 28
The Foxes' Tails Anonymous 29
The Dead Kitten " 33
The Weather Fiend " 34
The Race Question Paul Laurence Dunbar 35
When the Woodbine Turns Red Anonymous 38
Cupid's Casuistry W. J. Lampton 39
When Mah Lady Yawns Charles T. Grilley 39
Watchin' the Sparkin' Fred Emerson Brooks 40
The Way of a Woman Byron W. King 42
The Yacht Club Speech Anonymous 43
Mammy's Li'l' Boy H. S. Edwards 44
Corydon Thomas Bailey Aldrich 47
Gib Him One ub Mine Daniel Webster Davis 49
A Lesson with the Fan Anonymous 50
The Undertow Carrie Blake Morgan 51
Marketing Anonymous 52
A Spring Idyl on "Grass" Nixon Waterman 52
Introducin' the Speecher Edwin L. Barker 54
Counting One Hundred James M. Bailey 57
They Never Quarreled Anonymous 58
Song of the "L" Grenville Kleiser 60
The Village Oracle J. L. Harbour 62
If I Can Be by Her Benjamin Franklin King 65
McCarthy and McManus Anonymous 66
And She Cried Minna Irving 68
Dot Leedle Boy James Whitcomb Riley 69
Mr. Dooley on the Grip Finlay Peter Dunne 73
A Rainy Day Episode Anonymous 75
I Knew He Would Come if I Waited H. G. Williamson 76
Love's Moods and Senses Anonymous 77
A Nocturnal Sketch Thomas Hood 78
Katie's Answer Anonymous 79
"'Späcially Jim" " 80
Agnes, I Love Thee! " 81
The Gorilla " 82
Banging a Sensational Novelist " 83
Hopkins' Last Moments " 84
The Fairies' Tea " 85
Counting Eggs Anonymous 86
The Oatmobile " 87
Almost Beyond Endurance James Whitcomb Riley 89
Proof Positive Anonymous 90
The Irish Philosopher " 91
Belagcholly " 93
A Pantomime Speech " 93
The Original Lamb " 95
When Pa Was a Boy S. E. Kiser 95
The Freckled-faced Girl Anonymous 96
Willie Max Ehrmann 98
Amateur Night Anonymous 98
Bounding the United States John Fiske 101
Der Dog und der Lobster Anonymous 102
He Laughed Last " 103
Norah Murphy and the Spirits Henry Hatton 104
Opie Read Wallace Bruce Amsbary 107
The Village Choir Anonymous 108
Billy of Nebraska J. W. Bengough 110
Dot Lambs Vot Mary Haf Got Anonymous 112
Georga Washingdone " 113
Da 'Mericana Girl T. A. Daly 114
Becky Miller Anonymous 115
Pat and the Mayor " 116
The Wind and the Moon George MacDonald 118
Total Annihilation Anonymous 120
Ups and Downs of Married Life " 121
The Crooked Mouth Family " 122
"Imph-m" " 124
The Usual Way " 125
Nothing Suited Him " 126
A Litte Feller " 126
Robin Tamson's Smiddy Alexander Rodger 127
A Big Mistake Anonymous 129
Lord Dundreary's Letter " 131
Slang Phrases " 133
The Merchant and the Book Agent " 134
The Coon's Lullaby " 136
Parody on Barbara Frietchie " 137
Before and After Charles T. Grilley 139
When Greek Meets Greek Anonymous 140
Mr. Potts' Story Max Adeler 141
At Five O'clock Tea Morris Wade 143
Keep A-goin'! Frank L. Stanton 145
A Lover's Quarrel Cynthia Coles 146
Casey at the Bat Phineas Thayer 147
Familiar Lines Anonymous 149
A Friendly Game of Checkers " 150
Modern Romance Henry M. Blossom, Jr. 152
Lullaby Paul Laurence Dunbar 153
The Reason Why Mary E. Bradley 154
How a Bachelor Sews on a Button Anonymous 154
Christopher Columbus " 155
The Fly " 156
The Yarn of the "Nancy Bell" W. S. Gilbert 157
I Tol' Yer So John L. Heaton 160
"You Git Up!" Joe Kerr 161
Presentation of the Trumpet Anonymous 162
Don't Use Big Words " 163
Der Mule Shtood on der Steamboad Deck " 164
The New School Reader " 165
The Poor Was Mad Charles Battell Loomis 167
Lides to Bary Jade Anonymous 168
"Charlie Must not Ring To-night" Anonymous 169
A Short Encore " 170
My Double, and How He Undid Me Edward Everett Hale 171
Romance of a Hammock Anonymous 173
Finnigin to Flannigan S. W. Gillinan 175
An Introduction Mark Twain 177
The Harp of a Thousand Strings Joshua S. Morris 177
The Difficulty of Riming Anonymous 179
So Was I Joseph Bert Smiley 181
The Enchanted Shirt John Hay 183
Deb Oak und der Vine Charles Follen Adams 185
The Ship of Faith Anonymous 187
He Wanted to Know " 188
An Opportunity " 190
Gape-seed " 190
Lariat Bill " 192
The Candidate Bill Nye 193
One Afternoon Anonymous 196
Not In It " 198
A Twilight Idyl Robert J. Burdette 199
Lavery's Hens Anonymous 201
Lisp " 202
They Met by Chance " 203
The Bridegroom's Toast " 203
Rehearsing for Private Theatricals Stanley Huntley 204
The V-a-s-e James Jeffrey Roche 206
Papa and the Boy J. L. Harbour 208
The Obstructive Hat in the Pit F. Anstey 210
Hullo S. W. Foss 213
The Dutchman's Telephone Anonymous 214
Doctor Marigold Charles Dickens 216
The Ruling Passion William H. Siviter 219
The Dutchman's Serenade Anonymous 220
Widow Malone Charles Lever 222
His Leg Shot Off Anonymous 224
The Stuttering Umpire The Khan 225
The Man Who Will Make a Speech Anonymous 227
Carlotta Mia T. A. Daly 228
The Vassar Girl Wallace Irwin 229
A Short Sermon Anonymous 231
A Lancashire Dialectic Sketch " 232
His Blackstonian Circumlocution " 233
Katrina Likes Me Poody Vell " 234
At the Restaurant " 235
A-feared of a Gal " 237
Leaving out the Joke " 238
The Cyclopeedy Eugene Field 239
Echo John G. Saxe 244
Our Railroads Anonymous 245
Wakin' the Young 'Uns John C. Boss 247
Pat's Reason Anonymous 249
Quit Your Foolin' " 250
She Would Be a Mason James L. Laughton 251
Henry the Fifth's Wooing Shakespeare 254
Scene from "The Rivals" Richard Brinsley Sheridan 258
Scenes from "Rip Van Winkle" As Recited by Burbank 261
PART III—SERIOUS HITS
If We Had the Time Richard Burton 267
The Fool's Prayer Edward Rowland Sill 268
The Eve of Waterloo Byron 269
The Wreck of the Julie Plante W. H. Drummond 271
Father's Way Eugene Field 272
I Am Content Carmen Sylva Translation 274
The Eagle's Song Richard Mansfield 275
Break, Break, Break Alfred, Lord Tennyson 277
Virginius Macaulay 277
The Women of Mumbles Head Clement Scott 279
William Tell and His Boy William Baine 282
Lasca F. Desprez 284
The Volunteer Organist S. W. Foss 287
Life Compared to a Game of Cards Anonymous 289
Old Daddy Turner " 290
The Tramp " 292
The Dandy Fifth F. H. Gassaway 293
On Lincoln Walt Whitman 296
The Little Stowaway Anonymous 296
Saint Crispian's Day Shakespeare 299
The C'rrect Card George R. Sims 300
The Engineer's Story Rosa H. Thorpe 303
The Face Upon the Floor H. Antoine D'Arcy 306
The Funeral of the Flowers T. De Witt Talmage 309
Cato's Soliloquy on Immortality Joseph Addison 311
Opportunity John J. Ingalls 312
Opportunity's Reply Walter Malone 312
The Earl-king Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe 313
Carcassonne M. E. W. Sherwood 314
The Musicians Anonymous 315
On the Rappahannock " 317
Como Joaquin Miller 319
Aux Italiens Owen Meredith 322
https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/47194
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