~(Editing) [DR] The Third Violet by Stephen Crane - thw

Winnifred wrote: ↑April 20th, 2024, 3:20 pm Didn't wait for acknowledgement, as I had some time this afternoon. Chapters 18, 21, and 22 are PL OK.

Cheers,

Thanks Winnifred! I really appreciate the help. I'll make sure you're credited as DPL.

I really need to finish this up. That's my weekend plan.

ChuckW · Post by **ChuckW** » June 3rd, 2024, 12:27 pm

I finally have time to work on this again!

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/thirdviolet_30_crane_128kb.mp3 [7:51]

https://librivox.org/uploads/toddhw/thirdviolet_31_crane_128kb.mp3 [4:44]

Winnifred · Post by **Winnifred** » Yesterday, 4:47 pm

And so do I! Now that I've done some more PLing of dramatic readings, I believe there's nothing actually wrong in my doing a final PL of a chapter that I read for. Let me know if you disagree.

In that spirit, and since I now also have access to the MW, I've circled back and tackled Chapter 5, which is very nicely timed/edited. Just a couple of comments here:

At 2:41, I hear “Hollanden established himself in an oratical pose on a great weather-beaten stone.” The text reads “Hollanden established himself in an oratorical pose on a great weather-beaten stone.” You might want to fix that so as not to puzzle listeners.

At 6:48, after “Why did you—“ and before “The elder Worcester girl…” there’s a pause of a couple of seconds. I wonder whether this transition would sound better with less time here, since I’d have read the last sentence as an interruption of Hollanden’s sentence rather than him just trailing off. Your call, of course.

Cheers,

Winnifred · Post by **Winnifred** » Yesterday, 8:17 pm

I had time this evening to tackle some more, so I've blitzed through Chapters 10, 12, 14, 17, and 23. They're all PL OK.

I hope to tackle the rest by the end of the weekend at the latest.

Cheers,

Winnifred · Post by **Winnifred** » 46 minutes ago

I've now gone through all remaining chapters.

Chapter 24 is PL OK.

Chapter 25 needs two corrections:

At 2:46, I hear “Three sketches lay on the floor near him, and he glanced at them constantly while painting at the large canvas on the easel.” But the text reads “Three sketches lay on the floor near him, and he glared at them constantly while painting at the large canvas on the easel.” I think that rather changes the meaning here, so I wonder if you mightn’t want to fix that.

At 3:55, between “There was a knock at the door” and “Pennoyer entered sheepishly” should be the phrase “Come in,” spoken by Hawker. It seems to be missing.

Chapter 30:

At 1:04, there’s a speech by Grief with a bit in the middle (see bold type below) that I think should be read by the narrator, not Grief: “”Hollie is there, too,” whispered Grief. “Billie is unlocking the door. Now they’re going in. Hear them cry out, ‘Oh, isn’t it lovely!’ Jinks!” He began a noiseless dance about the room. “Jinks!…

At 7:37, at the end of the chapter, Grief reads lines that I think belong to Wrinkles: “What? Yes. Stop punching me! Yes, I tell you! That’s her. Are you deaf?” In the paragraph before that, Florinda asks Wrinkles, not Grief, if “that” is “her,” and I believe it’s Wrinkles who is answering her.

Chapter 31 is PL OK.

Only two more chapters to go!

Cheers,